Category Archives: The Funny and the weird

Hahaha…really

Rakugo (落語) in English

I watched a Rakugo performance by Tatekawa Shinoharu (立川志の春) this evening at the school and boy, I was laughing till tears came out of my eyes for an hour. It is quite astounding that the art of story-telling with over 400 years of Japanese history could be so entertaining. When asked about how his apprenticeship was like, Tatekawa san likened it to the Jedi in Star Wars, only that his master, Tatekawa Shinosuke, resembled more of Darth Vader.

Apparently, this is not the first time Rakugo is performed in English. In Japan and the US, there are a number of Rakugo masters who successfully tickled English-speaking audiences. One of them is the late Katsura Shijaku who broke the language barrier in 1983 for non-Japanese speaking audiences in the US to enjoy this art form. There is also Katsura Kaishi who travelled the whole of US with his family in a caravan, splitting sides of every audience he performed for. Do not watch with a full stomach. You’ve been warned.

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JLPT N3 is Over!!! (^3^) (日本語能力試験N3レベルが終わった!orz)

It was only 5 months ago when I made the decision to dump $55 onto the reception counter to take the Japanese Language Proficiency Test Level N3.
I had a ready pool of JLPT2 notes and textbooks to swim in before the test however… life is always full of distractions.
Let me count the ways:Japan vacation, BL manga, BL novel, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, 801 etc
Today is the day of reckoning and I reckon the folks who set the papers are a bunch to be reckoned with. The main grouse we all had, N2 and N1 examinees included, was the load of unfamilliar grammar and vocabulary that ambushed us at every turn of the page. I cannot recall whether I was actually taught the words ‘区切って’、 ‘なだらか’ or ‘暗記’ nor actually seen them.
I can only hope for a borderline pass after spending half of the time playing dice with my eraser with the hope for a divine answer to each question. Other than shading random circles on the optical answer sheets, I took the liberty to decorate the question paper with sketches of the Anarchy sisters.(ちゃんまいさんのおかげで、集中できない)
おわった。おわった。もうおわった☆
Was the cramming in the past weeks all in vain then?
Perhaps not.
I was able to comprehend 60% of the Kichiku Megane novel that I am currently reading now without turning to the electronic dictionary for help and getting hooked on sexy underwear.

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(R-21) Chinese Mid Autumn Festival 2010 at Clarke Quay

The Chinese Mid Autumn Festival, 中秋節 in Chinese, is a time where families gather to savour mooncakes and watch their children burn paper lanterns and ants. Well, that was how my childhood was. Making candle wax cakes and a bonfire out of litter was a memorable feature too (^p^)
Thanks to Singapore being such a FINE city, the younger generation make do with multi-colored torches and china-made plastic lanterns. That put the fire out of the Mid-Autumn festivities until now…

Pig blowing a towering Dragon rod?! That thick orange tower surely resembles what I wasn’t born with.
Along the fetid riverbanks of Clarke Quay, we found colossal lanterns depicting the 12 zodiac animals. Ying san and I were quite bewildered. It felt as if we had stumbled into the twisted forests of Happy Tree Friends. Instead of blood and gore, this is all about adult matters.
Let’s take Monkey for instance, why is there a long, curling appendage sticking out at the front?

Oh, and thanks for directing everybody’s gaze to the characters crotches. It sure helps to train us to look at more important things in (making) life. Everyone knows what a ‘cock’ is. Whether English (cock), Chinese(鸡), Spanish (Polla) etc. Is there a need to label it?

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Filed under Celebrations and Festivities, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird

Welcome to Erohime class! (現実もエロに逃げられない)

Ero – connotes sexual perversion in the Japanese language.
Example: Erojiji means chee ko pek or dirty old man, ‘jiji’ meaning old man or uncle.

I was stuck with the said adjective online for a period of time after a number of mature paintchat encounters…

Thus, to me, ero is a word that will never exist in the world of reality until today… …

So here’s some background information.
I’ve been learning Japanese for a year now at a private language school.
Due to the demanding nature of my job, I could only enrol for the Sunday classes.
It’s called the ‘Orihime’ class with about 14 students from all walks of life, from a university undergraduate, teachers, office workers to engineers.

Our Japanese sensei is a very vocal and gregarious woman and her outgoing personality made the classroom highly enjoyable to sit in.
I must say she has a knack for tsukomi given class clowns like Weechin san and Jeffrey san (both late twenties).

It was a normal Sunday afternoon, like any other Sundays in the language centre.
Our sensei wanted us to suggest certain actitvities which are a nuisance to the public.
So I told her ”電車でイチャイチャするのが禁止すればいいだと思います” (Making out in the train should be prohibited)
Sensei was surprised we were uptight about public displays of affection and she said she would love to try it out once she gets hitched.
Then Jeffrey made some comment which made sensei stare at him and say:
”ジェフリーさん、エロいなー”

Later, we were told to construct sentences using ‘nan quantity ka'(何か).

Jeffrey san and Weechin san were constructing a conversational sentence relating to recalling the number of annoying women (ムカつく女) each of them has met.
However, looking at the perverse way both of them were laughing, the whole class thought they were discussing on how many women they have … …
Soon the class became extremely rowdy and excited as everyone started interrogating ero-combi Jeffery san and Weechin san.

Our sensei sighed loudly :”嫌だ。どうしようー織姫クラスがエロになる…” (What am I to do? My Orihime class is turning sleazy.)
Jeffrey san: “いいじゃない?エロ姫クラスになる!” (Then our class should be called Erohime!)
Arzen:”エロジジ。” (Dirty old man)
Sensei:”ジェフリーさんはまだ若いから、じゃ、エロ兄さん。” (Jeffrey’s not that old yet. Let’s call him Dirty young man)

 

 

Online life

I’ve got a soft target, Chiryuu san, whose works are highly volatile and nosebleed inducing, and she is keen to explore the alternative adult territory (e.g. shibari, horse play).

It started after she approved my Mypic request and when I entered her Teblog paintchat without any clue the owner was actually her.
Until I saw the pair of Frio Tidus centaurs at the Teblog paintchat announcement.
It was the same pair of centaurs in Chiryuu san’s pixiv portfolio.

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My response to Chiryuu san's Frio the stallion and carrot.ハァハァ

It was fun watching her draw Frio the stallion treated to carrot and tomatoes.
I was inspired to draw a Steed of Light in my Teblog, freshly whipped for breeding. haahaa
I didn’t expect Chiryuu san to leave Frio the stallion and a carrot in the comment box.
From there, it became an ongoing contest of pornographic illustration.
She was so good I nearly gave up and wanted to draw a basket of vegetables instead.

1255013775057978

 

And the series continues … … (?)

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Filed under FF Dissidia, Personally exposed, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird

Squeezing and Stalking (SMSと手書きブロ)

The following is an excerpt of an sms conversation I had with Miss 1wRong last night:

Miss IwRong:  I want! I wanna squeeze! Is it white and soft?

Arzen:  No, it’s big and hard.

 

I know, it sounds R-18 if we’re gonna think that the thing she wanna squeeze is something we’re not born with. www

It’s only a pimple.

A nice gargantuan pustule of clotted sebum from my ‘auntie’ which visited me last night… urrrgghhhhhhh….

I need blood… Feeling faint….and I’m meeting a schoolmate from the Japanese Language school to exchange and discuss about Yaoi.

I think Ying san might have to drag my limp, bloodless body home.

Online life

After giving up on using SAI in my old computer, I decided to register a tegaki blog.

Simply for the following reasons:

  • The canvas size is large enough for sketching manga as compared to oebbs which is limited to 800×800
  • To stalk A san
  • User friendliness

I happily drew Frioneil haahaa just to test the functionally limited paint tools. 1 hour after I completed the picture, I checked back to my tegaki panel and noticed someone had left a comment on the picture.

I thought it was Tamakichi san because I sent a tegaki friend request.

I didn’t send one to A san because I didn’t  want A san to think I’m a stalker (although it’s what I’ve been doing it all along). Especialy after the previous incident when things got really awkward in the chatroom. She reassured me that she was just tired that night…(;w;)

 When I saw the owner of the comment, I thought I must be hallucinating.

It’s A saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She wrote that Frio is yummy and that she’s being the stalker.

Me being stalked by A san?! HaahaahaahaaAAAA!!!!!!

Omigod omigod omigod (^///p///^) Haa haa haaa!!!!!

Couldn’t really sleep that night…. wwwwwwwwwww haa haa





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Filed under FF Dissidia, Personally exposed, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird

A New Change – Communications and Coiffure

There’s a few changes this month.

Firstly, my hairdo. Miss 1wRong couldn’t tolerate the mop of twisted hay attached to my head so we decided to go for a haircut at Tornado in Tampines. The hairstylist was such a lovely, bubbly lass from Malaysia and a master of shaping coiffures with her silver shears. Miss 1wRong and her mom were satisfied with the magic the hairstylist did to my hay. This is a good thing. But the only problem I had was it resembles the hairstyle of the heroine in the Korean version of Hana Yori Dango…the saccharine cuteness is the total opposite of my true personality.

Secondly, I’ve changed my phone number and signed up a new plan after my old phone succumbed to the white screen of death. Permanently. The new phone I got at zero dollars is a Sony Ericsson W980 which satisfies my music cravings with 8GB of internal memory.

A silly thing happened yesterday.

It started when I got a little jealous of Silver Taro after Miss A got really excited at the idea of collaborating with her. I admit Silver and Miss A’s drawing styles are so similar it’s hard to tell them apart. What peeved me more was that I felt I’m wasting everyone’s time since my drawing style is different from Miss A and I don’t know what to talk with her about except ero in broken Japanese. Thus, I got alot more reserved in the subsequent paintchats. This crush is scaring me and I think it’d definitely freak Miss A out. Hope absence does not make the heart grow fonder and abstinence is the way forward.

I was so engrossed discussing with Ying san about it that when I saw Miss 1wRong’s reply on her mom and my colleague that  ‘love will blossom between the two’, I mistook Miss 1wRong for Ying san.

I replied ‘Love ha nani? Taberarenai no ka? S san is Miss A’s soulmate and I wouldn’t like to put my foot between the two of them. I shall just be her ero partner www’.

When I realised my mistake, I sent it to the last person whom I’d ever think of sending. Hahahaha…(TwT)

So this is how a faithless adulterer feels like after getting caught. That all too familiar icy chill down my spine.

I found it so funny and ridiculous, I couldn’t help laughing till drool came out of my mouth. When Miss 1wRong replied that she didn’t know whether to be shocked or happy that she understood what was going on, I got a little concerned. ‘Concerned’ is a euphemism. Actually, I freaked out.

Ah, the stupid things I do… …

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Pixiv Pchat: Takamin Server error

Saturday nights is a time for wild partying and celebrating fun in orgies of excess. But last night was plain disappointing…when takamin’s server crashed. It’s the only Saturday night when I got to sleep before 3am.

I gatecrashed into mik san’s Tidus pchat after seeing some familiar names in the list. I’ve never played FF10 nor sketched Tidus before so I was rather apprehensive when I clicked enter. I worried for nothing when I saw a bunch of Nobaras appear as the system loaded the sketches. Frioniel really is a celebrity, thanks to his virginity and the dark history of FF2…www

I sketched my 1st Tidus as a door gift to mik san. While doing so, I witnessed a marriage proposal by kirara san to RQPJ san (WOL). No one can beat Hoshida san who proposed to everyone at one shot. For me, I prefer not to have a harem of Mypics. It’s hard to manage so many wives and concubines in a polygamy arrangement. Guess I’m only committed to Ann san (Ying san made a very saucy comment after reading the previous entry). When my Tidus passed the rabbit hat to RQPJ san’s WOL, takamin sensei struck again, wiping the whole canvas clean.capture18jula

Next, I decided to try my hand at the chaos version of WOL, the Warrior of Darkness (WOD). I was happily sketching the Deathnote parody (Light:WOL, L:Linne輪廻)when the system hung. I exited the pchat and Ying san told me the pchat was suspended due to a server crash. I didn’t even have a chance to do a screen capture.
capture18jul7
I returned to the pchat after Ying san notified me that the system has recovered, hoping to find the WOD. Thank god it was still there and there was another person in the pchat room, kumaru san. I thought it was one of those ‘imitations’ where the ID of the person is still retained in the chatroom but has already exited the chatroom. I got a shock when kumaru san told me to continue drawing. When she used her touchpad to sketch Zacks, Chaos followed… Her Zacks and Sephiroth were aesthetically overwhelming.www
capture18julb
The best was her WOL with his shining ‘crystal’…www Just can’t help making the remark.capture18jul11

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