Category Archives: The Funny and the weird

Hahaha…really

Rakugo (落語) in English

I watched a Rakugo performance by Tatekawa Shinoharu (立川志の春) this evening at the school and boy, I was laughing till tears came out of my eyes for an hour. It is quite astounding that the art of story-telling with over 400 years of Japanese history could be so entertaining. When asked about how his apprenticeship was like, Tatekawa san likened it to the Jedi in Star Wars, only that his master, Tatekawa Shinosuke, resembled more of Darth Vader.

Apparently, this is not the first time Rakugo is performed in English. In Japan and the US, there are a number of Rakugo masters who successfully tickled English-speaking audiences. One of them is the late Katsura Shijaku who broke the language barrier in 1983 for non-Japanese speaking audiences in the US to enjoy this art form. There is also Katsura Kaishi who travelled the whole of US with his family in a caravan, splitting sides of every audience he performed for. Do not watch with a full stomach. You’ve been warned.

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JLPT N3 is Over!!! (^3^) (日本語能力試験N3レベルが終わった!orz)

It was only 5 months ago when I made the decision to dump $55 onto the reception counter to take the Japanese Language Proficiency Test Level N3.
I had a ready pool of JLPT2 notes and textbooks to swim in before the test however… life is always full of distractions.
Let me count the ways:Japan vacation, BL manga, BL novel, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, 801 etc
Today is the day of reckoning and I reckon the folks who set the papers are a bunch to be reckoned with. The main grouse we all had, N2 and N1 examinees included, was the load of unfamilliar grammar and vocabulary that ambushed us at every turn of the page. I cannot recall whether I was actually taught the words ‘区切って’、 ‘なだらか’ or ‘暗記’ nor actually seen them.
I can only hope for a borderline pass after spending half of the time playing dice with my eraser with the hope for a divine answer to each question. Other than shading random circles on the optical answer sheets, I took the liberty to decorate the question paper with sketches of the Anarchy sisters.(ちゃんまいさんのおかげで、集中できない)
おわった。おわった。もうおわった☆
Was the cramming in the past weeks all in vain then?
Perhaps not.
I was able to comprehend 60% of the Kichiku Megane novel that I am currently reading now without turning to the electronic dictionary for help and getting hooked on sexy underwear.

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Filed under Personally exposed, The Funny and the weird, Uncategorized

(R-21) Chinese Mid Autumn Festival 2010 at Clarke Quay

The Chinese Mid Autumn Festival, 中秋節 in Chinese, is a time where families gather to savour mooncakes and watch their children burn paper lanterns and ants. Well, that was how my childhood was. Making candle wax cakes and a bonfire out of litter was a memorable feature too (^p^)
Thanks to Singapore being such a FINE city, the younger generation make do with multi-colored torches and china-made plastic lanterns. That put the fire out of the Mid-Autumn festivities until now…

Pig blowing a towering Dragon rod?! That thick orange tower surely resembles what I wasn’t born with.
Along the fetid riverbanks of Clarke Quay, we found colossal lanterns depicting the 12 zodiac animals. Ying san and I were quite bewildered. It felt as if we had stumbled into the twisted forests of Happy Tree Friends. Instead of blood and gore, this is all about adult matters.
Let’s take Monkey for instance, why is there a long, curling appendage sticking out at the front?

Oh, and thanks for directing everybody’s gaze to the characters crotches. It sure helps to train us to look at more important things in (making) life. Everyone knows what a ‘cock’ is. Whether English (cock), Chinese(鸡), Spanish (Polla) etc. Is there a need to label it?

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Filed under Celebrations and Festivities, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird

Welcome to Erohime class! (現実もエロに逃げられない)

Ero – connotes sexual perversion in the Japanese language.
Example: Erojiji means chee ko pek or dirty old man, ‘jiji’ meaning old man or uncle.

I was stuck with the said adjective online for a period of time after a number of mature paintchat encounters…

Thus, to me, ero is a word that will never exist in the world of reality until today… …

So here’s some background information.
I’ve been learning Japanese for a year now at a private language school.
Due to the demanding nature of my job, I could only enrol for the Sunday classes.
It’s called the ‘Orihime’ class with about 14 students from all walks of life, from a university undergraduate, teachers, office workers to engineers.

Our Japanese sensei is a very vocal and gregarious woman and her outgoing personality made the classroom highly enjoyable to sit in.
I must say she has a knack for tsukomi given class clowns like Weechin san and Jeffrey san (both late twenties).

It was a normal Sunday afternoon, like any other Sundays in the language centre.
Our sensei wanted us to suggest certain actitvities which are a nuisance to the public.
So I told her ”電車でイチャイチャするのが禁止すればいいだと思います” (Making out in the train should be prohibited)
Sensei was surprised we were uptight about public displays of affection and she said she would love to try it out once she gets hitched.
Then Jeffrey made some comment which made sensei stare at him and say:
”ジェフリーさん、エロいなー”

Later, we were told to construct sentences using ‘nan quantity ka'(何か).

Jeffrey san and Weechin san were constructing a conversational sentence relating to recalling the number of annoying women (ムカつく女) each of them has met.
However, looking at the perverse way both of them were laughing, the whole class thought they were discussing on how many women they have … …
Soon the class became extremely rowdy and excited as everyone started interrogating ero-combi Jeffery san and Weechin san.

Our sensei sighed loudly :”嫌だ。どうしようー織姫クラスがエロになる…” (What am I to do? My Orihime class is turning sleazy.)
Jeffrey san: “いいじゃない?エロ姫クラスになる!” (Then our class should be called Erohime!)
Arzen:”エロジジ。” (Dirty old man)
Sensei:”ジェフリーさんはまだ若いから、じゃ、エロ兄さん。” (Jeffrey’s not that old yet. Let’s call him Dirty young man)

 

 

Online life

I’ve got a soft target, Chiryuu san, whose works are highly volatile and nosebleed inducing, and she is keen to explore the alternative adult territory (e.g. shibari, horse play).

It started after she approved my Mypic request and when I entered her Teblog paintchat without any clue the owner was actually her.
Until I saw the pair of Frio Tidus centaurs at the Teblog paintchat announcement.
It was the same pair of centaurs in Chiryuu san’s pixiv portfolio.

1255094411806708

My response to Chiryuu san's Frio the stallion and carrot.ハァハァ

It was fun watching her draw Frio the stallion treated to carrot and tomatoes.
I was inspired to draw a Steed of Light in my Teblog, freshly whipped for breeding. haahaa
I didn’t expect Chiryuu san to leave Frio the stallion and a carrot in the comment box.
From there, it became an ongoing contest of pornographic illustration.
She was so good I nearly gave up and wanted to draw a basket of vegetables instead.

1255013775057978

 

And the series continues … … (?)

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Filed under FF Dissidia, Personally exposed, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird

Squeezing and Stalking (SMSと手書きブロ)

The following is an excerpt of an sms conversation I had with Miss 1wRong last night:

Miss IwRong:  I want! I wanna squeeze! Is it white and soft?

Arzen:  No, it’s big and hard.

 

I know, it sounds R-18 if we’re gonna think that the thing she wanna squeeze is something we’re not born with. www

It’s only a pimple.

A nice gargantuan pustule of clotted sebum from my ‘auntie’ which visited me last night… urrrgghhhhhhh….

I need blood… Feeling faint….and I’m meeting a schoolmate from the Japanese Language school to exchange and discuss about Yaoi.

I think Ying san might have to drag my limp, bloodless body home.

Online life

After giving up on using SAI in my old computer, I decided to register a tegaki blog.

Simply for the following reasons:

  • The canvas size is large enough for sketching manga as compared to oebbs which is limited to 800×800
  • To stalk A san
  • User friendliness

I happily drew Frioneil haahaa just to test the functionally limited paint tools. 1 hour after I completed the picture, I checked back to my tegaki panel and noticed someone had left a comment on the picture.

I thought it was Tamakichi san because I sent a tegaki friend request.

I didn’t send one to A san because I didn’t  want A san to think I’m a stalker (although it’s what I’ve been doing it all along). Especialy after the previous incident when things got really awkward in the chatroom. She reassured me that she was just tired that night…(;w;)

 When I saw the owner of the comment, I thought I must be hallucinating.

It’s A saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She wrote that Frio is yummy and that she’s being the stalker.

Me being stalked by A san?! HaahaahaahaaAAAA!!!!!!

Omigod omigod omigod (^///p///^) Haa haa haaa!!!!!

Couldn’t really sleep that night…. wwwwwwwwwww haa haa





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Filed under FF Dissidia, Personally exposed, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird

A New Change – Communications and Coiffure

There’s a few changes this month.

Firstly, my hairdo. Miss 1wRong couldn’t tolerate the mop of twisted hay attached to my head so we decided to go for a haircut at Tornado in Tampines. The hairstylist was such a lovely, bubbly lass from Malaysia and a master of shaping coiffures with her silver shears. Miss 1wRong and her mom were satisfied with the magic the hairstylist did to my hay. This is a good thing. But the only problem I had was it resembles the hairstyle of the heroine in the Korean version of Hana Yori Dango…the saccharine cuteness is the total opposite of my true personality.

Secondly, I’ve changed my phone number and signed up a new plan after my old phone succumbed to the white screen of death. Permanently. The new phone I got at zero dollars is a Sony Ericsson W980 which satisfies my music cravings with 8GB of internal memory.

A silly thing happened yesterday.

It started when I got a little jealous of Silver Taro after Miss A got really excited at the idea of collaborating with her. I admit Silver and Miss A’s drawing styles are so similar it’s hard to tell them apart. What peeved me more was that I felt I’m wasting everyone’s time since my drawing style is different from Miss A and I don’t know what to talk with her about except ero in broken Japanese. Thus, I got alot more reserved in the subsequent paintchats. This crush is scaring me and I think it’d definitely freak Miss A out. Hope absence does not make the heart grow fonder and abstinence is the way forward.

I was so engrossed discussing with Ying san about it that when I saw Miss 1wRong’s reply on her mom and my colleague that  ‘love will blossom between the two’, I mistook Miss 1wRong for Ying san.

I replied ‘Love ha nani? Taberarenai no ka? S san is Miss A’s soulmate and I wouldn’t like to put my foot between the two of them. I shall just be her ero partner www’.

When I realised my mistake, I sent it to the last person whom I’d ever think of sending. Hahahaha…(TwT)

So this is how a faithless adulterer feels like after getting caught. That all too familiar icy chill down my spine.

I found it so funny and ridiculous, I couldn’t help laughing till drool came out of my mouth. When Miss 1wRong replied that she didn’t know whether to be shocked or happy that she understood what was going on, I got a little concerned. ‘Concerned’ is a euphemism. Actually, I freaked out.

Ah, the stupid things I do… …

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Pixiv Pchat: Takamin Server error

Saturday nights is a time for wild partying and celebrating fun in orgies of excess. But last night was plain disappointing…when takamin’s server crashed. It’s the only Saturday night when I got to sleep before 3am.

I gatecrashed into mik san’s Tidus pchat after seeing some familiar names in the list. I’ve never played FF10 nor sketched Tidus before so I was rather apprehensive when I clicked enter. I worried for nothing when I saw a bunch of Nobaras appear as the system loaded the sketches. Frioniel really is a celebrity, thanks to his virginity and the dark history of FF2…www

I sketched my 1st Tidus as a door gift to mik san. While doing so, I witnessed a marriage proposal by kirara san to RQPJ san (WOL). No one can beat Hoshida san who proposed to everyone at one shot. For me, I prefer not to have a harem of Mypics. It’s hard to manage so many wives and concubines in a polygamy arrangement. Guess I’m only committed to Ann san (Ying san made a very saucy comment after reading the previous entry). When my Tidus passed the rabbit hat to RQPJ san’s WOL, takamin sensei struck again, wiping the whole canvas clean.capture18jula

Next, I decided to try my hand at the chaos version of WOL, the Warrior of Darkness (WOD). I was happily sketching the Deathnote parody (Light:WOL, L:Linne輪廻)when the system hung. I exited the pchat and Ying san told me the pchat was suspended due to a server crash. I didn’t even have a chance to do a screen capture.
capture18jul7
I returned to the pchat after Ying san notified me that the system has recovered, hoping to find the WOD. Thank god it was still there and there was another person in the pchat room, kumaru san. I thought it was one of those ‘imitations’ where the ID of the person is still retained in the chatroom but has already exited the chatroom. I got a shock when kumaru san told me to continue drawing. When she used her touchpad to sketch Zacks, Chaos followed… Her Zacks and Sephiroth were aesthetically overwhelming.www
capture18julb
The best was her WOL with his shining ‘crystal’…www Just can’t help making the remark.capture18jul11

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Filed under ネタ・漫画, FF Dissidia, The Funny and the weird

Pixiv Pchat: Kichiku infection(日常:俺はストーカーか?)

Warning: If homosexuality and erotic representations offend you, please do not click the picture links below. You’ll regret it. I mean it.
注意:リンクはエロ、ホモの表現があるので、嫌なら、クリックしないでください。

Ying san’s yome, Kuroro san hosted a pchat session last evening. Tamakichi san also put up a WOL pchat invitation in the same evening. It’s my biggest dilemma for the month. In the end, I concluded that since I’ve never participated in Kuroro san’s pchat before, I decided to give Tamakichi san’s tempting pchat a miss.残念100%!

Ann san, Ying san, Nobon san, H(entai)oshida san, amo san, even Xilla san were there, sketching delicious pics and having deep discussions on procuring Dissidia doujins. My first pic was a seme Nobara in a suit. Ying san suggested glasses for him and turned him into a Kichiku (Sadism) Nobara.capture12jula

Then the infection began.

Xilla san was sketched a delicious Nobara in apron pic and a sexy WOL pic… Without warning, Xilla san erased the picture before everyone could screencap. It’s very sadistic of Xilla san.

I got Ann san to draw her lovely Frioniel in tears and couldn’t help but get my WOL to join in. Haahaa. Can never get enough of her delicate Nobara drawings.

Picture: Frionel in tears and WOL in glasses (注:鬼畜眼鏡?)

She started sketching a censored nude pic of Another Frio and as usual, I added Nobara into the pic. I was appalled when she increased the censoring black mass over Frio’s groin. My artistic principle is ‘Less is more’. Then she added ‘拡大'(Enlarge) on the black mass.(゚∀゚)

Picture: Nude Another Frio and Nobara (注:裸体)

Then without warning, she erased her pic to nothingness. Before I could screencap the completed picture. Another Kichiku infected.

Picture: Kuroro san’s WOL Frio (注:萌え)

Neither Kuroro san was immune to the spread.

For my exit pic, I decided to experiment with Nobara seme and WOL uke.

Picture: Frio seme WOL uke (注:エロ)

I think I really need to work on my perspective.

Now for news on the more ordinary part of my life. Yesterday, I took the train to Orchard for my weekly Japanese classes. While waiting at the platform, I noticed a pretty good looking guy with a guitar slung over his left shoulder. He looks so delicate and deliciously uke I can’t help staring. I switched my attention back to Dissidia after getting on the train. When I arrived at Orchard and took the escalator towards the Ion exit, I noticed the slim man with the guitar slung over his shoulder ahead of me. Haa haa.

In the evening, after a nice romantic dinner with Miss Ringo at the airport, I took a bus and alighted at the MRT station near my home. As I walked towards the overhead bridge, I saw the same guy with the guitar in front of me! The sheer coincidence and my slow pace made me look like a stalker. I admit that I tried to catch up so I can ogle at his uke-licious face. Haahaa.

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Pixiv Pchat:Vitamin E(ro)

Warning: If homosexuality and erotic representations offend you, please do not click the picture links below. You’ll regret it. I mean it.
注意:リンクはエロ、ホモの表現があるので、嫌なら、クリックしないでください。

Last night, I participated in Furuko san’s pchat for the first time. It was great seeing familiar names in the chat room.. I had a great feast, rich in Vitamin E(ro). It’s an important part in everyone’s diet. (^p^) 

Furuko san started with an appetiser, Nobara with lemon (left). It whetted my appetite (はぁはぁ). Ann san cooked up a delicious hors d’oeuvre (bottom) and my WOL enhanced the Nobara flavour with tabasco sauce and lemon juice (centre).

Picture: Hors d’oeuvre (注:裸体、血)

 For the entree, I served up Nobara and WOL while Ying san’s Another Frio got toasted with a fiery Megane Nobara. 

Picture: Entree  (注:フェラ含み、キス)

For the main course…

It’s Nobara stuffed with WOL.WOLをのばらに詰め.

Picture:Main course (注:フェラ、セックス)

Ann san’s Nobara stuffed with WOL is flash grilled and covered in cream. It was my favourite dish for the night.(はぁはぁはぁぁぁーはあ!!!)

I really enjoyed collaborating with fellow chefs like Ann san, Ying san…et al and collecting their orgasmic gourmet creations. The chefs and guests are absolutely lovely. \(^p^)/

Gochisousamadeshita!!!!はぁはぁはあああ!!!貧血しちゃったYO!

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Filed under FF Dissidia, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird

Moving House-No Internet No Life

We’re going to move into a rental flat by the end of June. There’s no ready internet access in my new room and I feel like dying already…(インターネット中毒)

Dissidia Paintchat theme: Armor and Bikini

Dissidia Paintchat theme: Armor and Bikini

The worst thing is not knowing what goes on in Pixiv.net. The opportunity (social) cost of missing out a DFF paintchat is high, for me at least. Paintchat is a great place to meet gregarious and fun Pixiv members who share the same moral standards as me (Morals?What morals?). Kudos to Ying san for introducing me to the site. Now I’m hooked. Wish I could pchat with her at least once.

I pchatted with Leona last night. Omigoood, her seme WOL was hugging my Frio… when my PC hung.Damn! When I logged on once more she had left and the picture was no longer there. うぼぁー!

Work in Progress: My yome, Warrior of Light (愛してるぅ!!!)

Work in Progress: My yome, Warrior of Light (愛してるぅ!!!)

Now I’m thinking of signing up for a wireless package which comes with a USB modem. I could use it in office too but strictly for personal use only. Not sure if it could support my appetite for free movies though…

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BL does not stand for Boys’ Love

It’s been such a long time since I’ve sketched nichijou mangas (comics on daily life). This is a harrowing encounter at a katsu stall in an Orchard shopping mall. A pair of metrosexuals were celebrating one of the metro’s birthday opposite me. Then they started bopping each other’s arms and elbows and god knows what else underneath the table. The best was when the metro presented the birthday boy with 2 boxes of lau por bing (wife’s cake). Seriously, is this a proposal or an outright act of defiance towards Penal code 377(A)? I nearly snorted rice out of my nostrils as the whole scene unfolded before me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BL banzai! (@ロ@;)でもブスがいらねぇよ!

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HellDamnBig: Chronicles of a dung-picker

Once upon a time, in a village called Twapa Yo, there was a family made up of 3 generations. Grandfather and grandmother, father and mother, 4 lovely daughters, 4 sons and a dog. Grandpa Ernst and Grandma Patty ran a nice little family business of dung-picking called ‘DungTastesTerrific’ in the village. The lord that rules the village of Twapa Yo is their only customer, the colossal HighlyDevelopedBum. There are other villagers running the same business of dung-picking such as Messrs. PeeWithCare, KrapPooMeansGold and EverYuck. Since the beginning of time, every springtime, HighlyDevelopedBum excretes a dunghill of such monstrous proportions, a map was created to differentiate each shit pile by activity. A royal dung-picker was sent to shovel this multi-storey muck from one spring to the next.
One day, the royal dung picker decided to lay his golden shovel to rest. With no dung-picker to move the evergrowing excreta around, HighlyDevelopedBum held a price contest to select the best dung-picker of the village. No one in the village could defeat DungTastesTerrific when it comes to a price contest. Passed down from generations is an enchanted shovel which halves the price and doubles the dung. It is with this shovel that Grandpa Ernst’s brother succeeded in earning the endless supply of dung from the Sing-and-Tell kingdom.
After having won the contest, Grandpa Ernst and Grandma Patty bade their son, Al Beetee and his wife, Veetee, to them. ‘My good son, I shall entrust you with the hard task of shovelling this new muck mountain. Do not fear the terrifying stinking heights nor the brown steaming abyss. With your wife and children, you can move mountains (of dung). Here are the spoons and begone.’
The children were called forth and every child was given a spoon. The mother then marched them off towards the massive muck mountain, keeping the youngest son called Angoose close to her.

……………..to be continued…………

Afterword
This is dedicated to all the HellDamnBig team members earning no more than $2,800 a month. Frankly, I got a little sad when Mother told me this evening she’s sending me to another dung pile. Thank you for the happy times despite the long, tiring nights and weekends wandering in the muck mountain. You made the stink tolerable with our great camaraderie and mad jokes. Dry Ban Mian, canine testicular issues, Koi bubble tea, buying mineral water, Tiong Bahru cuisine, TPX, white board vandalism etc will always be in my memory.

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A call from Indianapolis~

It’s a Saturday morning and I was in office sifting through the timesheets the ResignationsManagementGang has stuffed my pigeon hole with. It’d make a nice little pigeon’s (nesting) hole with those timesheets shredded into paper litter. 
Getting myself into HellDamnBig has its pros and cons.
Pros: The client’s at HDB Hub so I get to have my daily KOI bubble tea fix. The GL systems will terminate at a certain time before 9pm. My resume will look pretty nice with HellDamnBig in it.

Fixed Assets on Film: Data storage from the primitive age.

Fixed Assets on Film: Data storage from the primitive age.

Cons: My waistline is increasing  thanks to my daily KOI bubble tea fix. Internet access is virtually nil (Can anyone believe it?) unless we tap the WIFI at the nearest Mc D. The engagement lasts till end of May but I doubt we could even make it given the collossal organisational structure of the group. My resume will, therefore, look pretty ugly with HellDamnBig in it (if I’m applying for a non-private job).

Back to the timesheets…Great, the RidiculouslyMalignantGroup wants me to charge an hour of my Annual Leave for signing unassigned late. I went to check my TOIL balance and I saw ‘-61 hours’. What the f*ck?! Where did the hundreds of hours go to? ResignMoreGood is spurring me to quit. I was swearing away after seeing that my TOIL hours balance has become negative, until my handyphone rang.

Me: ‘Hello~?   
Caller: ‘Hey~ How are you, babe?’
(Singapore time:10.44 am, estimated US time: 9.44 pm)

It’s a client. No! It’s a telemarketeer. No!
It’s Radeeca!!!
My wonderful vegan buddy! Food is one subject we got all nostalgic about. Particularly those delicious vegetarian spots we went to like Delivege, Mahal Poti and oh… her favourite place to satisfy her MSG addiction, the vegetarian stall at the Bridge just next to our office.

I never expected a call from Radeeca. Not when it’s the audit peak period globally so it’s a huge surprise for me! And a lovely surprise too after TwT, another A11 turned senior, left for Korea just last Tuesday.(;w;)

Partners of Delete, Touch and Tomatoes. (from left: TwT, Radeeca and Arzen)

Partners of Delete, Touch and Tomatoes. (from left: TwT, Radeeca & Arzen)

We got all bitchy about Delete Touch and Tomatoes and the job crunch worldwide. It seems Radeeca was more concerned about whether I’ve found someone to ‘do everything’ with because the first question she asked was whether I’ve finally ‘done everything’. It’s nice to have a friend worry about my status as a virgin (in body). I’m very sure I’d have to ask her for some tips on doing it when I do find someone since she’s already done some ‘elementary practical work’ with her other half, Mr PhD.
It’s highly likely she and Mr PhD will progress to the advanced level once her plan to join him in San Diego materialises in the midst of culling headcounts.
Hey Radeeca, babe~Are you reading this?

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Youtube on Japan: Celebrity AV Predicts own Death, JAL CEO Paid Less than Pilots, Rape Club in Waseda University

Dead AV celebrity Iijima Ai predicted own death 7 years ago
(2001 entertainment program)

(Taiwanese news)

The famous celebrity Iijima Ai was found dead in her apartment in Shibuya on Christmas Eve this year. She was only 36 years old. The cause of death was yet to be known but it’s speculated to be suicide. In 2001, a Taiwanese fortune teller told her that Ai would die in 3 years time and that she can’t bring with her anything, before bursting into tears. Hmm the timing doesn’t add up. But it’s a very sorry thing to see her go. I’m certain she will be very much missed by everyone especially her fans in Japan, Taiwan and China.

JAL CEO paid less than his own pilots.

President and CEO Nishimatsu Haruka of Japan Airlines takes the public bus to work daily and eats the same food as other company staff. He doesn’t even think being paid USD 90,000 a year is a strange thing as the CEO of the top 10 companies in the airline industry. JAL has let go 4,300 staff in the 3-year restructuring exercise to survive the high fuel prices and the slowing economy. Some food for thought on top management ethics.

And now something from the other end…
Rape Club

Introducing the prestigious Waseda University’s most scandalous CCA: Super Free (rape) club. And also ‘Rapeman’. What the hell.

Japan… the country of extremes. That’s why you never fail to attract the gaijins’ attention from all over the world.

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Christmas 2008: BL, Yaoi and anal rape

Tetsuo, Youji and Makoto

From top: Tetsuo, Youji and Makoto

Looking from the way I spent my Christmas eve and Christmas day, if I were a Christian, I’d have just won myself a first-class premier ticket to hell where I can enjoy an eternity of lovely hot brimstone and icy abysmal darkness.

BL:

 by Nitro+Chiral. It’s the longest BL game I ever played. (The other BL game was the all-time classic Ore no Shita de Agake). It’s also the 1st serious and gory BL game I’ve ever played. Thank goodness there’s only 6 endings to complete.
The story basically is about the protagonist Youji, who has a female parasite called Mesu living inside his abdomen. This parasite will emit pheromones to attract the male parasite called Osu which also lives inside human males. In this case, it’s Tetsuo the alpha Osu who always saves the day and ahem, does things to Youji. Unfortunately for Youji, the pheromones also have an effect on normal human males and it affected his friend Makoto, turning him from a bright, friendly social butterfly into a psychotic, hungry stalker. And to make things worse, whenever Youji gets aroused, blood and pieces of meat will come out of his ass. Imagine me playing this game while having my period (which came on the day before Christmas eve ). Overall it’s not a bad game. The music is gooood. Really good enough for an OST to be published. The voice actors are not bad, particularly noted is Makoto’s voice actor, 空乃太陽(Sorano Taiyou, I suppose an alias), who could switch from a puppy-like innocence to a cannibalistic beastly psycho.

Yaoi: I should stop reading Naono Bohra’s works. Shucks, I even grabbed ‘Three Wolves Mountain’ when I saw it in Kinokuniya when I’m not really into dog-ear fetish.(But the part where little puppy Jiro learns to xxx the middle-aged Suzuki is sooo tasty)

Naono Bohras yummy supernatural Yami ni Tooboe, Mune ni Toge

Naono Bohra's yummy supernatural 'Yami ni Tooboe, Mune ni Toge'

Seriously, I’m getting addicted to her Ossan love stories where the old guy gets xxx by the young man. So tasty but very unhealthy, just like junk food. It’s every old person’s fantasy to be wanted by a young thing. My god… am I having a quarter life crisis???

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anal rape: Action 52 for NES (and later Sega Genesis). The worst game ever made in the world. Watch this youtube video by angst-ridden game reviewer, LeisureSuitGaming, if you don’t believe games can be made so badly and yet have the cheek to sell for US$200. Note that virtually every second the f-word and all sorts of coarse language is used. Please understand the trauma the person is going through. Really enjoyed hearing the guy go crazy over the game. His exasperation and frustration is hilarious.



Perhaps the only good thing that comes out of Action 52 is the funky BGM of Cheetahman… which the Japanese turned out a rap version ,with lyrics…

Seriously, I somewhat agree with the game reviewer when he said for people in prisons to choose between butt rape and Action 52, the choice is clear.
 All credit goes to Ying san, who is getting anal raped by Action 52 (NES rom). Seriously.

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Status: TOIL & Singapore ‘Japan Media Arts Festival’ (なにそれ?もう絶望した!!!)

This is the 2nd Japanese Occupation in Singapore and it’s one of the 1st steps by Aso to invade and take over this little island. What better weapons to use than the deadly kawaii characters and artillery of anime and guerilla game titles ? Rain bombs of Japanese pop culture and sow the seeds of consumerism onto the heads of the citizens. Strike the minds of the children and pockets of the parents with bolts of Pikachu and Gundam lasers. Make these imbeciles beg with lolling tongues for more sexy moe maids with big bouncy G size chests and hunger for those sweet sailor uniforms.

Let’s start with this ‘Japan Media Arts Festival‘ where the inhabitants are bribed with free screenings of old anime in the museum. Withhold the manga heavyweights and give them something softer and cleaner, like Nodame Cantabile. They probably can’t stomach BL and Eroguro.

Yes! Revive the glory of Syonan-To once again and make this little island the beacon of Japanese pop culture and consumerism in South East Asia!

ぜんぶ(k)うそ です。てっへ♪

I just got back from my search for 77 star Pte Ltd, a company whose website claims they provide animation and manga classes certified by Yoyogi Animation Group . I went to 9 Shenton Way and there was nothing. Literally. No people, no furniture, no sign. NOTHING. No wonder the phone number no longer works. Anyway, I’m going to take up a Japanese language class instead, to console myself and further my otaku aspirations. Phew, the sensei told me I could take the pre-advanced class after giving me a little oral test. I have to thank chihaya san, nico nico douga and anime for that.

Anyway, if they’re gonna turn this art desert  of an island into a J-pop otaku paradise, make the ministers here take up Aso’s hobbies: reading manga. Like hell. I think I’ll just stay in the world of niconico douga where the real Japanese culture experience is.

I present to you our fuhrer from nico nico land … Sieg Heil!(`Д')ノ

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Status: Now playing (Last day of TOIL)

Dreadful. Just bloody dreadful. Tomorrow it’s the start of another long engagement with, of all things, HDB. Now I’m going full throttle being an otaku. Instead of visiting the Anime Fair at Suntec to ogle at a handful of cosplayers and shake my head in disappointment at the merchandise (not after seeing paradise in Tokyo), I’m shutting myself in my room oekakibbsing, reading manga and fondling my PSP for the rest of the day.

It’s high time a game like 「プリニー:俺が主人公いいんすか?」(’Prinny-Ore ga Shujinkou Iinsu Ka?’) arrived for PSP. Of course it can be put on NDS platform too… but please don’t tempt me to shell out a few more hundred bucks. I’m saving to buy a PSP-3000 once it’s out in the ‘other’ market. The battery in my phat PSP seems unable to retain power for more than 3 days. Anyway … …

Prinny

The gameplay is very nostalgic and the graphics are very beautifully rendered with depth. It reminded me of those 2D sidescroll arcade games in the 90’s like Capcom’s ‘Ghouls and Ghosts’. There’s 1000 Prinnies to expend (ie to get killed) for the whole game before game over. It can get quite tough because one touch from the enemy, the Prinny explodes (ie dies). It’s fun nevertheless especially when it squeals ‘Yarareta!’ before it dies.

Yesterday, I was trawling the public oebbs site for some nice pictures to ogle at when I saw a pic of a red haired samurai. It’s from a music video called 「絶交門」(Zekkoumon) by a (gay?) joke band from Sendai called 仙台貨物(Sendai Kamotsu). Curiosity either kills the cat or rewards it with fish. Are you ready?

*Please note the emphasis on ‘Koumon, koumon’. In kanji, it can look like 肛門 which means anus.
The vocalist Chiba was supposed to be the twin brother of another vocalist called Yomi from J-Rock band, Nightmare. Chiba’s makeup and the diaper on his head makes it difficult to verify visually. But he’s still kawaii.
Nightmare is behind the OP and ED of Deathnote anime which was aired in 2006. This is ‘Lost in Blue’ where we can see how Yomi looks like…

Actually, Sendai Kamotsu is Nightmare, and Nightmare is Sendai Kamotsu. Has your brain died already? XD
I wish Gackt would have the guts to do the same.
Thank you Sendai, for Date Masamune, Monkey Majik and now, Sendai Kamotsu.

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Mononoke Pharmacy

*Here’s something I did for ちはや san*

Welcome to Mononoke Pharmacy ~ This is Mr Kusuri Uri.

And this is Mr Hyper.

…Mr Kusuri Uri and Mr Hyper are the owners of the little pharmacy…

…But it seems the relationship is not so balanced after all…

ペンペンペンペンペン!!!Uhoh vvv


I watched this anime last year when it was aired in Japan.

Although it does not get as much fan exposure as Blood+ or Code Geass etc (more Moe characters I suppose), it is still worth a watch. After all, if the beautiful Japonaise graphics and thrilling stories don’t attract you, at least take comfort in Sakurai’s lovely voice of the main character, Kusuri Uri san.

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I am watching 「風林火山」(おやかたさまぁ~!)

Takeda (Harunobu) Shingen.

Takeda (Harunobu) Shingen. Looks like an Adidas ad, no?

I’m currently glued to my laptop,  engrossed in a Japanese TV drama called ‘Huurinkazan'(風林火山). The taiga series was broadcasted by NHK last year and ran for 50 epidodes. That’s alot of catching up to do for me.

It all began when I was trawling for some Gackpoid MAD videos in niconico douga and chanced upon ‘Fuurinkazan -Koppepan ‘. Some genius came up with bread related lyrics for the orchestral OP of the drama series and I got hooked on the song.


Koppepan! Jam nuttara Anpan!!!

Seeing that Gackt is acting as some warlord in the show, I decided to give the drama series a try, just to see if Gackt could act. (-w-;)

Takeda Shingen Tiger of Kai vs Nagao Kagetora Dragon of Echigo *Uhhoh!*

'Takeda Shingen' Tiger of Kai vs 'Nagao Kagetora' Dragon of Echigo *Uhhoh!*

In the end, I was completely bought over by the acting and comical antics of Uchino Masaaki as the protagonist, Yamamoto Kansuke and the flawless Kabuki-esque performance of Ichikawa Kamejirou as Takeda Harunobu (later known as Takeda Shingen).
Trailer plus interview: Uchino Masaaki (with the eye patch) is so adorable-! Uh hoh!

Gackt appeared as Nagao Kagetora (later known as Uesugi Kenshin) in the later episodes. I was too distracted by his collagen-pumped up lips and effeminate appearance to appreciate his acting. He made a fearsome warlord look like a geisha …


Kagetora was about to shoot Kansuke for failing to deliver the 100 guns on time and for refusing to betray Takeda Shingen. At that crucial moment, the guns arrived under secret order from Takeda Shingen who was worried for Kansuke’s life. Oyakatasamaaaa~~~~~vvv 

Thank goodness Yamamoto Kansuke and Takeda Shingen get the most airtime. (TwT)

I’m particularly drawn to the evolving personality of Takeda Shingen which Ichikawa Kamejirou expressed easily with his fine acting skills. From an innocent, sympathetic youth to a raging, paranoid warlord to a wise and cunning strategist. Ichikawa makes Takeda Shingen a character easy to love by both the protagonist Yamamoto Kansuke and the audience.


Check out Ichikawa’s acting prowess…How did he managed to contort his face like that?!

I also enjoyed the convincing act as Yamamoto Kansuke by thespian Uchino Masaaki. He could make his eyes wet with tears in a second when Kansuke is touched by Takeda Shingen’s benevolence. Masaaki also limped about so convincingly I was wondering if he had something tied to his foot to make him do so. I particularly enjoy his expressions when Kansuke is scheming something or is put into a comical situations like having to provide marriage counselling services to Takeda Shingen.

There are other lovable characters like Sanada Yukitaka (Yukimura’s grandfather) who fed the unconscious Kansuke horse shit (a family remedy…?) after Kansuke was shot with a gun.

As for Uesugi Kenshin by Gackt … (-_-|||) … I’ll have to wait and see in the 38th episode onwards when Uesugi Kenshin starts to battle with Takeda Shingen.

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Status: Out to lunch and saw…(サクランボウは受けか?)

fruit

fruit orgy

 … A pear humping a cherry?!
And below them is a steamy orgy going on with fruits coitally connected in erotic ecstasy! Oh!

I loved MAOAM’s tangy chews since my college days, lazily masticating the juicy confection while pretending to be listening to the lecturer. Who would have thought a harmless chew advertisement could be so pornographic …
I would have run after the van if I wasn’t starving. ('Д`)

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