Category Archives: Sexy stuff

Ramen dating – Singapore (ラーメン店が萌える♥)

Thanks to the stagnant Japanese economy and Singaporeans’ taste for nippon, ramen shops are mushrooming all over the cosmopolitan heart of the city. Ying san and I are avid consumers of Cool Japan i.e. gaming, manga, washoku etc. and the constant yearning for the rich pork broth ramen we had during our trip in Japan in March this year gave us a mission in Singapore living.

Before Japanese ramen chains began their invasion this year, we used to slurp up the milky black pig ramen at Tampopo to quell our addiction. It is still rated as the best ramen in Singapore, probably. From the day Ying san invited me to get sashimi-ed by her at some ulu pandan part of River Valley Road, we spent over a hundred dollars on ramen and other gastronomic delights. Another ulu pandan part of the city where we went ramen hunting was in Parco at Millenia Walk. We tried Keisuke ramen which served up thick prawn miso broth and crab broth. Unfortunately, in a region where you can get prawn noodles for less than $4, I did not find the dining experience a unique and memorable one.

The egg salad was heavenly but the chicken charsiew rice brought us back to hell…


The thick, coying prawn flavour left me desperate to scrape my tongue.

The highlights of our gastronomic adventure would have to be Ippudo Tao and Sanomaru Sapporo Ramen.
Ippudo Tao’s noodles were thick and submerged in a bi-colored broth of white soup and black sauce.

We plan to return to the restaurant to try out the 爆裂豆腐 (Exploding beancurd?!). As for ambience, the Japanese customers set the mood with their rowdy, salarymen conversations, otherwise I’d rate it as average. The tea comes in a white chinese teapot and typically small chinese teacups (how authentic… ). Pepper and other condiments are rationed out by the waitress who would go from table to table to sprinkle fixed amounts of seasoning into the ramen.

Sanomaru Sapporo Ramen is rated tops by Ying san and me. I was a skeptic when my Japanese sensei raved on his facebook that he would give the person a full refund if the ramen is not good. After trying out the ramen, I’d probably do the same www. I usually approach miso/shio/shoyu soup bases with trepidation where the high sodium levels could crystallize my kidneys to rocks. But Sanomaru’s soups are surprisingly light and balanced without diluting the flavours of the soup.
Upsized Shoyu Ramen
Shio Ramen
Miso Ramen

For both visits to Sanomaru, we were serviced by a Japanese lady whose attentiveness, moeness and perfect english reduced us to grinning like perverted old men at her. She gave us warm water after we finished our beer. Isn’t that sweet? Now I understand why Japanese men queue up to sit in maid cafes and pay ridiculous prices for diluted coffee. It’s the moe factor which is a combination of attentive care, platinum customer service and a pleasant appearance which makes the customer a regular.

Sorry Tampopo… You should have worked on your staffing.

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Filed under Sexy stuff, Spending Spree

(R-21) Chinese Mid Autumn Festival 2010 at Clarke Quay

The Chinese Mid Autumn Festival, 中秋節 in Chinese, is a time where families gather to savour mooncakes and watch their children burn paper lanterns and ants. Well, that was how my childhood was. Making candle wax cakes and a bonfire out of litter was a memorable feature too (^p^)
Thanks to Singapore being such a FINE city, the younger generation make do with multi-colored torches and china-made plastic lanterns. That put the fire out of the Mid-Autumn festivities until now…

Pig blowing a towering Dragon rod?! That thick orange tower surely resembles what I wasn’t born with.
Along the fetid riverbanks of Clarke Quay, we found colossal lanterns depicting the 12 zodiac animals. Ying san and I were quite bewildered. It felt as if we had stumbled into the twisted forests of Happy Tree Friends. Instead of blood and gore, this is all about adult matters.
Let’s take Monkey for instance, why is there a long, curling appendage sticking out at the front?

Oh, and thanks for directing everybody’s gaze to the characters crotches. It sure helps to train us to look at more important things in (making) life. Everyone knows what a ‘cock’ is. Whether English (cock), Chinese(鸡), Spanish (Polla) etc. Is there a need to label it?

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Filed under Celebrations and Festivities, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird

Narcissism and Me,me,me,moi

”The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” – Toulouse Lautrec, Moulin Rouge.

The artistic midget could never say it better in the movie than that but just like him, the statement is entirely fictional. That’s what I used to think until now. It’s still partial hogwash since the greatest thing I’ll ever learn is how an eight-legged mollusc never fails to control the destinies of football playing countries, I mean, predict the winners in the  2010 World Cup accurately 8 times in a row.

Yes, it’s a nice  thing to love and to be loved in return. But 90% of the time, I let myself get bulldozed by infatuation for the beautiful people living in my head and cyberspace (Refer to entry ‘Missed Target‘). I’d like to play the game of romance but haven’t gotten anywhere near the finals yet (i.e. birds and bees). And since no game lasts forever, I cultivated a healthy cynicism towards love and marriage. All I’m waiting for now is the One with the right qualities and natural abilities who can complement my perfect flaws and quirks. Any gender or race or creed is fine as long as there’s mutual consent (although I’ve developed a taste for non-con through a steady diet of BL, joking). If all else fails, there’s still ”me” to last a lifetime. Sigh, if only I can replicate another me. I envy Henry in ‘The Time Traveller’s Wife’ …

Then what of the 10%? I enjoyed the thrill of the chase during my love-blinded exploits. From the joy of speaking with the target and learning about his/her life (i.e. through stalking) to the bitter sweet ache of waiting for the target’s arrival. Unfortunately, it seems what goes around comes around. In fact, I feel sorry from the bottom of my heart for even having a crush on them thanks to my overactive pituitary gland.

Based on my narcissistic deduction, I believe a person had (note: past tense, better stay that way) a crush on me in Paradiso di servizio civile.

In the 1st month, I was impressed by his attentiveness and genteel manner to everyone. My tumbler magically filled itself up, lunch invitations and even free porter service to the MRT. Then things take on a turn for the ‘better’. I usually like to end off lunch with a healthy dessert option, like fruit or yogurt. One fine afternoon, he asked me what flavor I prefer for yogurt. I typed my reply ‘Strawberry’ (I wish I can have Strawberry Yazima chan in my yogurt wwwwwストロベリーおいしそうw). The next day, a strawberry yogurt cup appeared on my desk. And the day after, another yogurt cup. And the day after… … I wished I’d replied ‘999K gold bars’ or ‘10,000-Japanese yen note’.

The yogurt cup did not come with a spoon. Without a utensil to consume the item with decency, I would dispense the item into the fridge on my way out of the office. The effort of having to walk to the pantry to take a spoon and cover the same distance twice just to consume the yogurt outweighs the perceived benefits of improving bowel movements. My dad did a great job in raising me into a perfectly useless, maid-dependent adult where I would die of starvation if not fed by hand. Soon, the fridge was filled with strawberry yogurt cups.

He saw that the fridge was bursting at its seams with yogurt cups and he asked me whether I’ve been chucking the lot of ’em inside. I gave him the affirmative and told him he could have them or share it with the others. He said the yogurt is meant for me and no one else. He seemed mortified when I suggested that he should share it with our lovely colleagues otherwise the fridge is going to turn into a cheese factory. Thankfully, he distributed the yogurt cups to everyone and the girls seemed really happy by his sweet gesture.
And from then on, the yogurt cup never made its appearance on my desk again. The end.

In my opinion, romantic love or the perception of being in love is always unsettling because the pervert+hormones=pheromones make the loudest noise
(There is a reason why God made me a woman instead of a man. So I won’t get charged for rape or something along that line for succumbing to the moans of nature, snigger). And when the vuvuzela of romance starts to sputter, the whitewash fades and the horrors of drab, ugly reality rears its head to greet you ‘Good Mourning’.
I believe that a relationship cannot be constructed synthetically with money or other material inputs like foodstuffs, it has to be cultivated with care and wisdom, putting in the right words and actions at the right time.
Yes, even something morally agreeable can come out of a filthy, sex-infested mind like mine. I love you, ME.

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Status: Resigned (総辞職に参加します)

The resignation letter was typed, printed, folded and inserted neatly into the envelope.

All ready to be placed gently onto the human resources manager’s desk.

It has been a little bit more than 2 years of late nights and meaningless dungpicking in Delete Touch and Tomatoes LLP.

The beginning of rolling dung hills has led to the end.

Here are the general factors:

i) Abolishment of TOIL policy by the leaders of the industry. Obviously they have been deluded that all humans can subsist on air like them. No one (except the said leaders and anyone like them) is willing to work overtime when the time is not compensated.

ii) Decrease in pay increment. The leaders cut our pay but still retain the high charge out costs to the client. In our budgets, the time cost rate is retained when the actual cost (salary) is but a miniscule fraction to the total. Leaders thinned the budget in hourly terms to reflect lower costs. Now, why don’t I help them cut their costs by directly reducing the headcount?

iii) Inadequate resources for excess in jobs. Previously our leaders shifted the fresh batch of young dungpickers to other departments like Tex and Y’Are Ass, resulting in an inverted dungpicker’s pyramid, with excessive dung supervisors at the top and a handful of dung coolies to shovel the shit at the base.

On personal factors, I was completely disgusted by the load of fresh steaming jobs dumped on me. I didn’t get the old dung back. And to top off the chocolate mountain, they landed a Sing&Tell on me. At the last blooming minute.

Secondly, I see no point in wasting my time on a job I don’t like and don’t give a rat’s ass about. Do I see a future in audit? Hmm yes, I see emaciated bodies, clumps of torn black hair and dark smoke from the chimneys of an Auschwitz concentration camp.

Thirdly, I suck at it because it looks like a load of BS to me and I am utterly reluctant to do anything that looks like a load of BS. Tell me, will it save the ice caps from melting or relieve a child from hunger if there are more audits conducted? Hell f**king no.

These are push factors. And the pull factor?

Bumming and living a parasitic existence as an unemployed.

    \(^p^)/

Oh by the way, Happy belated Deepavali.

I was working overtime with the indian client on the eve of their holiday.

 

 

Online life

Remember my soft target, Chiryuu san?

It seems things are getting harder than what I’ve bargained for.

One thing’s for sure, I’m not a cyber-virgin anymore./////

Oh yea, and they say for my Bazi element, I’ll be getting a bit of peach blossom luck.

No one told me the peach blossom could be either gender.

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Filed under Personally exposed, Pissed, Revelations on work, Sexy stuff

Welcome to Erohime class! (現実もエロに逃げられない)

Ero – connotes sexual perversion in the Japanese language.
Example: Erojiji means chee ko pek or dirty old man, ‘jiji’ meaning old man or uncle.

I was stuck with the said adjective online for a period of time after a number of mature paintchat encounters…

Thus, to me, ero is a word that will never exist in the world of reality until today… …

So here’s some background information.
I’ve been learning Japanese for a year now at a private language school.
Due to the demanding nature of my job, I could only enrol for the Sunday classes.
It’s called the ‘Orihime’ class with about 14 students from all walks of life, from a university undergraduate, teachers, office workers to engineers.

Our Japanese sensei is a very vocal and gregarious woman and her outgoing personality made the classroom highly enjoyable to sit in.
I must say she has a knack for tsukomi given class clowns like Weechin san and Jeffrey san (both late twenties).

It was a normal Sunday afternoon, like any other Sundays in the language centre.
Our sensei wanted us to suggest certain actitvities which are a nuisance to the public.
So I told her ”電車でイチャイチャするのが禁止すればいいだと思います” (Making out in the train should be prohibited)
Sensei was surprised we were uptight about public displays of affection and she said she would love to try it out once she gets hitched.
Then Jeffrey made some comment which made sensei stare at him and say:
”ジェフリーさん、エロいなー”

Later, we were told to construct sentences using ‘nan quantity ka'(何か).

Jeffrey san and Weechin san were constructing a conversational sentence relating to recalling the number of annoying women (ムカつく女) each of them has met.
However, looking at the perverse way both of them were laughing, the whole class thought they were discussing on how many women they have … …
Soon the class became extremely rowdy and excited as everyone started interrogating ero-combi Jeffery san and Weechin san.

Our sensei sighed loudly :”嫌だ。どうしようー織姫クラスがエロになる…” (What am I to do? My Orihime class is turning sleazy.)
Jeffrey san: “いいじゃない?エロ姫クラスになる!” (Then our class should be called Erohime!)
Arzen:”エロジジ。” (Dirty old man)
Sensei:”ジェフリーさんはまだ若いから、じゃ、エロ兄さん。” (Jeffrey’s not that old yet. Let’s call him Dirty young man)

 

 

Online life

I’ve got a soft target, Chiryuu san, whose works are highly volatile and nosebleed inducing, and she is keen to explore the alternative adult territory (e.g. shibari, horse play).

It started after she approved my Mypic request and when I entered her Teblog paintchat without any clue the owner was actually her.
Until I saw the pair of Frio Tidus centaurs at the Teblog paintchat announcement.
It was the same pair of centaurs in Chiryuu san’s pixiv portfolio.

1255094411806708

My response to Chiryuu san's Frio the stallion and carrot.ハァハァ

It was fun watching her draw Frio the stallion treated to carrot and tomatoes.
I was inspired to draw a Steed of Light in my Teblog, freshly whipped for breeding. haahaa
I didn’t expect Chiryuu san to leave Frio the stallion and a carrot in the comment box.
From there, it became an ongoing contest of pornographic illustration.
She was so good I nearly gave up and wanted to draw a basket of vegetables instead.

1255013775057978

 

And the series continues … … (?)

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Filed under FF Dissidia, Personally exposed, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird

I’ve Got A New Boyfriend (Asus U80Vを買った!)

After 6 years of faithful service, 2 hard disk replacements and 3 fatal crashes, my Dell inspiron 600m is finally put to rest.

Amen.

Things started getting bad after a software update. So horrible that I couldn’t even run Java or play an avi. movie smoothly.

I had no choice but to lug my office laptop to and from home on every working day and happily, there”s no optical disk drive nor user access to install programs.

That meant using my pen tablet like a bloody mouse with a shivering cursor and uncalibrated area.

It’s a physical torture to my wrist especially during paintchat sessions where I had no guts to sketch in case the cursor suddenly took a mind of its own and scrawls across some poor chap’s art work. Oh, and the shitty lines are an excellent dampener on my confidence. 

So… after weeks of scratching my pen tablet and watching minutes tick by as the Dell laptop tries desperately to squeeze an update download byte by byte, COMEX finally came.

I decided to zero in on Asus after visiting some tech forums and gathering insider advice of certain competing manufacturers.

Reliabilty and customer aftercare was one of my priority requirements before making a hardware purchase, kudos to those insufferable periods of anxiety when the Dell laptop decided to fail me.

I headed for COMEX in Suntec City Convention Centre on the 3rd day (Sat), at 12 noon which was the opening time. The linkway to the  convention centre was utterly thronging with people. I had to swim through the human flotsam, dodging baby strollers and flyer distributors, only to drown in more human bodies.

Impatient, I took the staircase and got lost in the labyrinth of hidden toilets and doors with restricted access. It’s really scary especially when I found myself at a dead-end on each floor and each turn. Imagine being chased by a chainsaw-toting psychopath in Suntec… It’s a definite Game Over for me.

Finally, I found an exit and reached the COMEX site. True to anyone’s expectations, it’s a hive of sales activity as exhibitors yelled discounts and tempting prices at bargain hunters. More dodging and side-steps and I finally reached the Asus booth.

I asked for the U80V for it’s sexy HD monitor, titilating keyboard and touchpad, average CPU, free Windows 7 upgrade and the substantial freebies like a 320GB portable storage disk. The salesperson gave me a $100 discount and announced that the last unit of this model has already been sold. Yea, so that another person who’s been wanting this model can lie in wait with a chainsaw to relieve my new notebook of its owner.

And below, is how my new boyfriend looks like.

After ironing out the annoying Vista hiccups, my pen tablet felt soooo good and comfortable to use. It’s almost orgasmic for my drawing hand.
I’ve spent the past few months dragging cursors all over the screen and praying hard that the cursor would suppress its Parkinson’s in a java environment.

Dell laptop/ Lenovo without the pen tablet driver installed properly (WOL and Frioneil)
No driver 01

Pen tablet driver successfully installed in U80V (WOL with rose)

The battery life lasted for 8 hours, compared to my office laptop which had a battery change recently but still cannot last beyond 3 hours. The new laptop is surprisingly cool after leaving it on for 3 hours whereas my wrists start to broil 15 mins after the office laptop was switched on. 

What more can I ask? He’s cool at all times but oozes with sweat-inducing sexiness and responds to my every touch in the dark.

Our honeymoon night was wonderful. So good that I stayed up till 6.45 in the morning…

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Squeezing and Stalking (SMSと手書きブロ)

The following is an excerpt of an sms conversation I had with Miss 1wRong last night:

Miss IwRong:  I want! I wanna squeeze! Is it white and soft?

Arzen:  No, it’s big and hard.

 

I know, it sounds R-18 if we’re gonna think that the thing she wanna squeeze is something we’re not born with. www

It’s only a pimple.

A nice gargantuan pustule of clotted sebum from my ‘auntie’ which visited me last night… urrrgghhhhhhh….

I need blood… Feeling faint….and I’m meeting a schoolmate from the Japanese Language school to exchange and discuss about Yaoi.

I think Ying san might have to drag my limp, bloodless body home.

Online life

After giving up on using SAI in my old computer, I decided to register a tegaki blog.

Simply for the following reasons:

  • The canvas size is large enough for sketching manga as compared to oebbs which is limited to 800×800
  • To stalk A san
  • User friendliness

I happily drew Frioneil haahaa just to test the functionally limited paint tools. 1 hour after I completed the picture, I checked back to my tegaki panel and noticed someone had left a comment on the picture.

I thought it was Tamakichi san because I sent a tegaki friend request.

I didn’t send one to A san because I didn’t  want A san to think I’m a stalker (although it’s what I’ve been doing it all along). Especialy after the previous incident when things got really awkward in the chatroom. She reassured me that she was just tired that night…(;w;)

 When I saw the owner of the comment, I thought I must be hallucinating.

It’s A saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She wrote that Frio is yummy and that she’s being the stalker.

Me being stalked by A san?! HaahaahaahaaAAAA!!!!!!

Omigod omigod omigod (^///p///^) Haa haa haaa!!!!!

Couldn’t really sleep that night…. wwwwwwwwwww haa haa





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Filed under FF Dissidia, Personally exposed, Sexy stuff, The Funny and the weird