Category Archives: Revelations on work

Absent without Notice

Just be glad I remembered the password to my WordPress account.

It’s been ages since I’ve blogged. It’s been ages since I’ve even seen wordpress. *snigger*
I’m sorry I’ve abandoned this blog temporarily to sort out my life (and to have a smashing good time in Japan).
One entry is not enough to record all the amazing (to downright uninteresting) experiences I had in these 7, yes, SEVEN months. I shall hereby document the events of my life that took place from 23rd March to 9th June 2010 in a manner described as ”succinct”.

23rd March to 07 May 2010 – Sent out 17 job applications of which 5+1 was shortlisted for interviews. 3 interviews were successful. (+1 was for a position with a recruitment company)
From the results of the above, I conclude 3 things:
(1) Accounting is never in my blood and the finance managers, who are the interviewers, can smell it.
(2) Although Accounting jobs SEEM plentiful and available, the same cannot be said for the working environment and salaries.
(3) One can score an interview perfectly if one is genuine. (Make it genuine even if you know you’re gonna make a seat reservation in Hell) CON-vince yourself before you CON the interviewer.
(4) If you don’t believe in an unseen higher power, be a believer now. You wouldn’t believe me anyway until desperation starts clawing at your behind.
(5) I suck at numbers and my memory is failing me.

10 May 2010 – First day at work in Paradiso di servizio civile.
11 May to present – Random rocks of responsibilities and a seething pile of backlog files waiting to be processed. This is aggravated by training courses which are dreadfully interesting and dreadful meetings. Kind and patient colleagues help soothe the pain and keep the place happy. Wished you were here.
-Agonized over comicstudio to submit a 4 page manga in exchange for a freebie from Japan. Currently agonizing over SAI to submit an illustration in exchange for redemption due to poor quality of above-mentioned manga.
-Amused by 5 year old brother who tried to stop his fart by covering his behind with his hand.

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Status:AGM-Auditors Groovy Meeting

This was the 1st and last AGM I’ve attended in my prematurely aged life with Delete Touch Tomatoes.

I couldn’t care less about going to the party district in my office wear on the eve of Halloween.

I’m sure I look hideous enough with the battered company laptop and papers stuffed in my bag and looking zombified after a long, stormy and nauseating ride from Dieco Healthcare to Clarke Quay.

Lion’s Tail and gang had arrived and I joined them at a table piled with enough alcohol to make a Russian happy. There’s red and white wine, vodka allsorts and beer to drown in. The food was high in calories, saturated in oil and delicious. The menu ranged from mushroom puff, prawn fritters, corn nuggets (fortified with MSG), bowtie pasta, fried fish in thai sauce, bratwurst in cranberry (?) sauce, et cetera. After scarfing down the food, I felt a tad thirsty and it made me reach out for 2 glasses of red wine, 1 lime vodka, 1 orange vodka, 1 glass of white wine… which made me a tad tipsy.

After the boring lucky draw event, the floor was open to all to get into the groove. Lion’s tail and me requested for ‘Dragonstadt Din Tei’, which the DJ only understood after I wrote ‘Chicken Little’ on the napkin. The song was dedicated to Jean Dac who is a splitting image of the nerdy little chick.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Abstinence makes the body groove harder.

I really missed those nights of frenzied dancing and letting the music take over. The last time I clubbed was 2 years ago (;w;)

gone

I wanted to dance so bad I dragged Lion’s tail to the floor with me. And when the crowd got bigger, we were pushed to the back, against the bar top. We ended up sitting on the bartop. Next thing I knew, I was shaking my ass on the  bar top and pulling Lion’s tail up along with me. I was so high I accidentally knocked my spectacles into the teeming mass of bodies below me. Goodbye visual clarity, hello hard buttshaking.

When we finally descended from the bar top and felt the ground under our feet, the thumping music kept us shaking and screaming like a bunch of crazed fans in a concert. We were high, we were free, we were absolutely drunk with booze and music.

We grooved till the wee hours of the night. My aching thighs and back are reminders of the excessive nocturnal workout we had. I was really amused when Lion’s tail told me she felt like she just got to know me that night. I guess I look too nerdy for anyone to believe that I used to club regularly years before. I left after talking to a seriously drunk KyaKyen who kept denying he was drunk. Being as blind as a mole (after losing my spectacles into the human abyss), Lion’s tail was sweet enough to lead me to the taxi stand. The queue was monstrous so I took a nightrider bus home. Thank god.

After groping around for railings and other tactile aids, I reached home at 3am, reeking of alcohol.

It was a night to remember.

After all, it’s my first time dancing on a bar top. \(^o^)/

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Status:Resigned but still doing OT(残業)

It’s nearly 11 pm soon.

I’m still at Dieco Healthcare.

Shit.

I attempted to participate as a ROM in Tkmc san’s paintchat session this evening but had to leave just to focus on the crap in front of me.

The only thing that keeps me sane is that I’ve ‘graduated’ from Delete Touch and Tomatoes diet program as a senior.

Another blessing to count is that I’m merely a working senior for Dieco Healthcare.

There’s plenty of Milo and coffee in the pantry.

Plus, looking back, I’ve enjoyed those wonderful times when TOIL still existed.

So it still isn’t so bad (as compared to the current intake of assistants).

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Status: Resigned (総辞職に参加します)

The resignation letter was typed, printed, folded and inserted neatly into the envelope.

All ready to be placed gently onto the human resources manager’s desk.

It has been a little bit more than 2 years of late nights and meaningless dungpicking in Delete Touch and Tomatoes LLP.

The beginning of rolling dung hills has led to the end.

Here are the general factors:

i) Abolishment of TOIL policy by the leaders of the industry. Obviously they have been deluded that all humans can subsist on air like them. No one (except the said leaders and anyone like them) is willing to work overtime when the time is not compensated.

ii) Decrease in pay increment. The leaders cut our pay but still retain the high charge out costs to the client. In our budgets, the time cost rate is retained when the actual cost (salary) is but a miniscule fraction to the total. Leaders thinned the budget in hourly terms to reflect lower costs. Now, why don’t I help them cut their costs by directly reducing the headcount?

iii) Inadequate resources for excess in jobs. Previously our leaders shifted the fresh batch of young dungpickers to other departments like Tex and Y’Are Ass, resulting in an inverted dungpicker’s pyramid, with excessive dung supervisors at the top and a handful of dung coolies to shovel the shit at the base.

On personal factors, I was completely disgusted by the load of fresh steaming jobs dumped on me. I didn’t get the old dung back. And to top off the chocolate mountain, they landed a Sing&Tell on me. At the last blooming minute.

Secondly, I see no point in wasting my time on a job I don’t like and don’t give a rat’s ass about. Do I see a future in audit? Hmm yes, I see emaciated bodies, clumps of torn black hair and dark smoke from the chimneys of an Auschwitz concentration camp.

Thirdly, I suck at it because it looks like a load of BS to me and I am utterly reluctant to do anything that looks like a load of BS. Tell me, will it save the ice caps from melting or relieve a child from hunger if there are more audits conducted? Hell f**king no.

These are push factors. And the pull factor?

Bumming and living a parasitic existence as an unemployed.

    \(^p^)/

Oh by the way, Happy belated Deepavali.

I was working overtime with the indian client on the eve of their holiday.

 

 

Online life

Remember my soft target, Chiryuu san?

It seems things are getting harder than what I’ve bargained for.

One thing’s for sure, I’m not a cyber-virgin anymore./////

Oh yea, and they say for my Bazi element, I’ll be getting a bit of peach blossom luck.

No one told me the peach blossom could be either gender.

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Filed under Personally exposed, Pissed, Revelations on work, Sexy stuff

Status: More dung!(コンチキショー仕事が辞めたい)

The ResourceMutilatingTerrorists have issued updated portfolios to us.
Oh wow, more dung with December year ends that come in pellets.
And yes, foreign, alien excreta from god knows where.

Total crap list is now 10. 
Hooray!

And I’m expecting a familiar giant load called SeriousMentalBreakdown at the end of the year when the auditor in charge tenders in November.
The poor chap had no idea what the company was about and is now drowning in 85+ pages of PSPM.
And yeah, the abolishment of TOIL sweetens the aroma.

I should start looking for a job now.
The problem is, the pros of audit is mobility and opportunities to interact with different people from all strata of the organisation, which I like.
Is there a job with similar characteristics?
Oh yeah! The glam position of Pantry lady.
This position allows one the chance to interact and exchange information with anyone who steps into the pantry for some refreshment.
Even the CEO needs his coffee fix too, no?
The cons of the job is no different from that of an auditor.
No one really gives a damn about your opinion and in the worst case, see you as a vendingventing machine for them to channel their negative energies out in the form of insults.
The General Cleaner position also affords the applicant the same opportunities but is hygienically challenging.
In addition, one has to face the very thing which everyone is writing resignation letters for: Dung.

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Status: Here Comes the Dung

An email arrived in my inbox just now.

It’s from the ResourceMutilatingTeam executive.

I’m given 4 engagements with Dec year ends and 1 with June year end.

OHMYFUCKINGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the ResourceMassacreingTeam executive expects me to come up with the staff requisition form and shit by 18th Sept.

I feel nauseated.

The worst was all 4 of these colossal shitballs are new to me.

The only one which I am a tad familiar with was the gaming company Creeptology(post).

I’m in flight mode now. No use fighting the rolling shit mountain.

Oh yeah, there’s no more TOIL policy.

AAAAAAAARRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

 

\誰か助けてぇぇぇぇ!!!/

( ;゜Д゜) ●●.=

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Filed under Pissed, Revelations on work

Update: Senior and moving on…

NOTICE: I’ve moved all records of my subsequent  nocturnal activities to another blogsite. I realised it isn’t very appropriate to dump it in this blog where respectable persons would see .. ahem, my wilder side in the online community.  If you’re interested and share my base moral standards (none by the way), feel free to visit my Pixivblog. Unfortunately, it’s all written in Japanese. But a good thing that a picture speaks a thousand words. 

The senior’s orientation party on 31 July at St Regis hotel was good. Sans the hours the top management spent to convince us to stay and slog our posteriors (with a whopping pay cut and 0.25 month  of bonus), the event was worth wearing the ogre green polo tee for. I realised there are a lot of unfamiliar faces, peers whom I’ve never even seen before, much less spoke to. The best was, I only realised the person belonging to a partner’s name is a guy. I’ve always held the mistaken belief that the partner wears a skirt for the past 2 years.  

How do I feel about being a senior? Simply DTT. Disgusted, Terrified and TOIL-less.

In times when the F**king Asinine Society of Bean-counters decided to ‘improve’ the financial reporting standards once more,  when the global head office of Dung Tastes Terrific revamped audit methods, when clients are demanding nano fees for mega service, when the profession is denied the sole carrot called TOIL … … the future has gotten darker for the dung-pickers.

Times are good right now for me… just enjoyed 2 days of art lessons IFRS updates and revised audit methodology from the Technical Update organised by the learning department and now I’m trying to clear my existing  TOIL. It’s great to sit with dear Miss 1wRong again, just like back in school. Soggy food at the reception, regular toilet breaks and great company, what more can I ask for?

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