Missed target

I guess a good thing about keeping things under wraps is when things go wrong, it is kept out of sight.

It saves everyone a lot of embarrassment and explanation.

Dear reader, you must be wondering what shit I’ve got myself into this time.
It’s a little emotional splatter. Nothing serious.
Okay, the background (minus all the delicious bits to spare your delicate moral being):

-Met J in J’s paintchat and was drawn (sorry for the pun) by the lovely Frioniel in the most compromising positions

– J left comments in my Teblog with enthusiasm overflowing

– During one of J’s echa, J initiated a Skype instant message session

–  (^p^) Unmentionables in said Skype session

– Unmentionables continue for the 3rd night until J requested to see my picture whereby I directed J to this blog

– After that, J is suddenly caught up with other paint chat sessions and activities (or so I’ve been told by J).

– I sent a message via Teblog to end it all

– Regretted action after receiving J’s reply that J was sorry for not being the One

– Replied with an apology and requested to reconcile once more but J’s next reply was ‘I will not chase after people who have gone out of my life’ 

The End someone online and we had cybrsx. (Somebody kill me.)

It was an overwhelming experience. Who would have thought mere words could have such a powerful influence on the mind and body. And in a foreign language to boot.
We shared things which should be kept private and there was a lot of romancing like exchanging love notes daily (for only 3 days).
Honestly, I desired this person enough to want to fly to see em.
All these in a span of two weeks.

The infatuation didn’t last.
For the other party that is.

I guess the anathema to the romance was my photo. Or my reticence. Or shame (What? Me? Ashamed?).

It took me 3 months to fully let it go (although my ego sometimes entertains the thought of redemption) especially after realising how childish it was to have a crush on someone I’ve never even seen before when I already have the love from the people around me.

As for the unmentionables?

I can get the same eye-rolling high by working out in the gym.


1 Comment

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One response to “Missed target

  1. Pingback: Narcissism and Me,me,me,moi « Arzen’s Studio

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