Gong xi fa cai. Sigh, angpow collections fell drastically this year in tandem with the bleak economic environment. (More reason not to get married.Snort.)
After another hellish week of SadisticMentalBattery, the 1st day of Chinese new year (25th Jan)is a real godsend. Finally, the day has come for me to rest my tired body and heal my battered mind. What better way to put the trauma behind me temporarily than to take a trip to Malaysia?
Like last year, my brother and I gorged ourselves silly, played with dogs, slept like pigs in the afternoon and stayed up till 3am watching TV (or Stephen Chow videos) or gambling with our cousins. At my cousins’ and grandma’s place, I consumed:
Chicken and mutton satay (forgot the no. of sticks) with 3 cubes of soft, fragrant ketupat rice.
Sambal chicken, mutton rendang in fluffy briyani rice.
A handful of fried beancurd fritters wrapped in crisp seaweed (approx. 120g)
2 pieces of pineapple tarts. (at home, I can consume half a jar)
A handful of spice-coated almonds with shells intact (approx. 100g)
A piece of mayonaise flavored cracker which is made by swirling the white batter in hot oil.
2 pieces of sweet cracker with bits of sesame. The sweet batter is poured into a steel mold which is lowered into the hot oil for frying.
1 bag of prawn (kerepuk) crackers.
A bar of rice puffs coated in syrup.
4 pieces of kueh bangkit. Powdery coconut cookies which melts in your mouth.
1 piece of green bean cookie.
1 piece of mocha chocolate.
5 crispy rolls of love letters.
1 handful of charcoal coated peanuts.
Miscellaneous candies and jellies.
2 pieces of kueh bahlu, asian version of madeleines.
A bowl of tang yuan aka glutinous rice dumplings in ginger soup.
1 whole passion fruit.
I thought I could store enough fats and calories in my body to survive the peak period but oh, the irony! My body went into full detoxification mode. I had to run to the toilet 12 times from 8pm in the evening to the next morning. I shat so much till my anus was scorched with pain. My bro told me it’s the hydrochloric acid from my stomach that is burning my delicate sphincter. It was so bad I had to sit on a cold pad and on one butt cheek at a time. I even started to think it’s a divine retribution on me for indulging in gay comics. My uncle gave me some medicine to quell my feisty intestines but it was excreted out in the next hour. Sigh. I think my digestive system is not what it used to be, just like the angpow collections: poor.