Monthly Archives: March 2008

Kim Min Jong’s Birthday (韓国のNo.1スターが描いた絵を持ってる!!!)

Kudos to Miss TwT for encouraging me to send something to Kim Min Jong even though I admit I’m not a hardcore fan like her.

So I drew a birthday card depicting the adorable Han Geum Soo from “Matchless Beauty Pak Chong Geum” drama which is showing in Korea right now. (^o^)b  It’s a really good drama. Take it from someone who only subsists on anime.

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On Good Friday night, I received a message from Miss TwT.

Her Korean friend, Algus, found the picture “interesting” and put it in 1st page of the album for Kim Min Jong… …. and she took a photo of him after she passed the flowers and presents to him.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

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しんじられないぃぃぃぃ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!! ミンジョン氏MOE!!!!!!!!\(≧ワ≦)/

It’s surreal man…. He’s holding up the album with my drawing in it…

The no.1 “all-round entertainer” star of Korea…is so sweeeeeet to his fans!!!! No wonder even the male fans go ga-ga over him. How ga-ga? Enough to say “I love you, big brother”. (0w0;)

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Status: IFRS Framework Test:90% (頭の必要は…ない)

As usual the learning centre spammed us with a list of crims who failed to complete certain learning modules which they haven’t the faintest idea of its existence. So I got down to complete the crap before Moday when they will generate a list of those still haven’t got the faintest idea these crap modules exist.

Step one: Go to the learning resource site to enrol a crap module.

Step two: After getting spammed with the auto-confirmation, launch the crap module.

Step three: Wade through the crap. And here’s a 2 examples how the crap looks like.

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Like for god’s sakes, if they have no idea what the hell this ‘fair value’ is, why is it becoming more important??? I think the guy who invented ‘fair value’ is either getting high on LSD when he/she came up with the concept or he shared his LSD with the High Temple of Accounting Priests. Does IFRS stands for ‘I’m F**king Really Stupid’?

IRShit dead pig

And this is a savage representation of the definition of expenses… Poor pig.

Step four: Take the assessment like picking lottery numbers. If you’re lucky like me, you can score 90% on 1st try! Or you can get friends close to sainthood to send you some ‘supplementary’ packages to help you with the score.

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Photos which condemn us to singlehood for life \(^o^)/

I had a sleepover at Miss 1wRong’s place on Good Friday.

And I had a lot of fun.

Which made me think we should start an SDU: Singlehood Delights Union or something along that line. (Spasticated Division for the Unmarried?)

It could start off something like this:

And here’s a guide on having a successful singles date… with yourself or the sex you’re uninterested in!

4pm: Have a delightful time performing biological reconstruction on your delicious tea time snacks. Turn that smiling cookie into a koala, a bear, a bird! Or if you’re sick in the mind, you can try to create a pig with pendulous breasts and flapping boards for wings.foodanimaux.gif

9pm: Catch the savage man-eating rabbit which lurks in the dark caverns of the bedroom toilet. Miss 1wRong managed to snap a photo of it close-up while it was digesting its hapless prey.

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11pm: Be beautiful and get your photos taken for our trendy fashion magazine where we share our unique beauty secrets which will guarantee your life-time singlehood. Men will fall for you (to their deaths from the windows of the HDB flats) when they lay their eyes on your loveliness. Here are 2 issues which we have published.

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And here’s what the men say when they met our models of the year… 

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Mr $7.50 a.k.a. Chee Kok Pek: “Wah piang, when I see this woman ah, really woman anot?! Just thinking of booking a room at hotel 18 (which I do regularly with my CPF money) with her, I want to castrate myself siah! ”

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The late Astronaut William Ren ONG:”After getting to know that model on the magazine, I figured if I try to breath vacuum, my suffering would end quicker.”

If you join our Singles Delight Union, you can enjoy a movie pass to watch our own movie production directed by Cameron Weiss Richards and produced by Kevin Watanabe Tamade. Here’s a screenshot of the movie ‘Cannot give a F**k’ (rated Extreme Violence and Mental Retardation)

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The smell of herbs : A Gag Manga Biyori song(ハーブの香り~)

Herb no Kaori~ Shotoku Taishi*~   *holy prince with the fragrance of herb

(Hmm, help me think on how to continue.)

(I Decline To Do It.)

Herb no Kaori~ Shotoku Taishi~

I☆Ke☆Me☆N☆Sugite*, *too handsome

Komachau Ze*~   *troubled

(Hmm, help me think of another line.)

(I Don’t Want To Do It.)

Herb no Kaori~ Shotoku Taishi~

I☆Ke☆Me☆N☆Sugite,

Komachau Ze~

(Wahey, Getting troubled by one’s beauty, there’s NO such thing.)

And there’s the Shotoku Serenade~~~Mambo!

(Please give me your afterthoughts on this.)

(There’s None.)

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Status: Feeling like a tourist while at work (日本旅行こんなに行きたいかな~)

When at work, I try to have a good time… even though it’s bad most of the time because it’s work,duh.

I guess I’m just yearning to go somewhere foreign and exotic and erotic ahem, I mean  far far away. The temptation to buy a ticket and jet off to Japan weighs so heavy in my head. But the consequences of doing so weighs heavy on my wallet too.

Anyhow, to satisfy my touristy urges, I try to make do with what I have here.

During the Coolinga audit, I was left to have my 1st packet lunch in the board room after returning from sighting some kitchen appliances at the company’s restaurant. Oh, it’s chicken rice with an egg. Damn, I shouldn’t have declined the restaurant manager’s offer to prepare lunch for me. To rub lemons on my stomach walls, the chef’s French.

Oh well, I’ll just pretend it is a Singapore -style oyako-don with an in-house movie starring the yummy-licious lambchops, Kim Min Jong (So damn kawaiiiiiiii~~~~even though he’s 37)

Another time where I got the tourist sensation was 2 days ago while helping out an asst. manager with Lirpa Group. The 1st task was to retrieve the arch files from the secretary’s room at UOB Plaza. Yes, ma’am!

So off I strolled from Shenton Way to the Singapore river where the tourists are loitering about and taking pictures of Dali’s sculpture ‘Newton’ which stands right in front of the plaza. I exchanged my student ez-link card for an access card at the security counter. (I was pretending to be an intern)

The access card allows the user to pass through those cumbersome gantries that stand between the lifts and escalators. I got onto the transit lift which only has one floor, 38th, where the transit lounge is.

The lift doors opened and voila!

I couldn’t help but go through the gantry which separates the lift lobby and the viewing gallery. My distraction is absolutely rewarding. I feel like a tourist!!!

After ogling at the skyline, I went back to my mission. That is, to get to the 50th floor to get those files.

…And there were a lot of files….

So much that I decided to steal a cardboard box to put everything in. The paper bags I brought were getting torn.

… And no, it’s impossible to walk back to Shenton Way with all these garbage.

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Status: When a Chinese hates her own race…(主計にのけ者にされた。 T_T)

 

It was a happy Monday morning as I dragged myself to the office to get briefed on the So-late-one (a subsidiary of Fluxtronics) assignment. (-_-)

And joy! The manager told us he might have to release me and another assistant from this So-late-one because the company is really “so late one” in getting the accounts ready for us to pick at.

So, what has that got to do with a Chinese who hates her own race? Be patient. I’m getting into the part on how I got myself this wonderful revelation.

Stripped of a job on the 1st day of the work week, I went to sit with Radeeca and Bavanee, who were booked on the same job. The other assistant, Hareen was on medical leave. I was quite amused that all the assistants in this particular job are ethnically Indian. And coincidentally, I know Radeeca, Bavanee and Hareen. Radeeca probably hates seeing me jobless and having a free time. She suggested that I join them and substitute Hareen for a day. I said:”Ok.”

Better to work with friends than getting dumped into some shithole by the ResourceMutilationTeam.

So after getting the nod from the senior in charge, we zipped off to Beach road to Age-is Medium Asia Pacific Management (AiMAPM).

Coincidentally, a mutual friend of Radeeca and me, TwT, used to work in this company. (Coincidentally,  TwT has the same first name as me and we worked on the dreadful SmallMediumBig United last month.) More coincidentally, on the 1st evening while Bavanee and I were crossing the road, TwT was in the taxi that was just making a turn at the road! So surreal, man! 

We were sitting around, waiting for our dear senior to dish out the work for each of us. I can’t recall what went on between the 2 of them as I was busy socialising with Bavanee and Radeeca. Somehow, our heads turned towards the financial controller, Belittle Chink (ethnically Chinese by the way…). She was… scolding the senior.

Well, I’ve no idea over what. Definitely nothing to do with outstanding matters or our audit work because we haven’t even started! Probably because my senior’s cute and pretty and she’s not.

Anyways…

Our senior dished out the parts for each of us to do and prepared the necessary documents for us while we little assistants went for lunch at Bugis Junction. She was gone when we came back after a satisfying lunch with bubble tea in tow.

We got down to work and naturally, questions arise. Figures can’t tie and documents were needed. So I went to Belittle Chink to ask her for the information and documents I needed.

Me:” Hi, Belittle. Can you tell me how frequent is the payment cycle?”

She looked very. very stressed. And she looked at me as if I was the last person she’d want to see. 

Belittle:”Your people had already audited Age-is Medium Asia Pacific in January! Don’t you know the payment cycle’s the same? It’s the same, okay?”

Me:”Well, I just want to clarify with you. Do you have alot of unpaid invoices that have been kept from 2007 till to date? I’d like to see them.” 

She frowned with gusto.

Belittle:”2! Twice a month. We always pay on time. We have very little unpaid invoices. yaddayaddayaddadipedidooday.”

Well, I got my stuff anyway.

On the 2nd day, I decided to start on operating expenses. I needed the various ledger accounts to pick my samples from. So after sifting through the pile of papers, I prepared a list of accounts for Belittle to provide.

Me:” Hi Belittle, could you provide me with the following accounts? I’ve gone through the pile and these are the ones I can’t find.”

She looked very, very stressed. And she looked at me as if I was scum.

Belittle:” You can’t find? I’ve given all the schedules to your senior and she said she’s photocopied every piece of them! Cannot be! One of the girls sitting beside you asked me about this account just now. Go and get it from her! I’m not going to print for you because I’m very sure I’ve given everything to your senior.”

Okay, now that’s odd. The girl sitting right next to me is Bavanee and no way in hell she’s been tasked to check on that particular account.

Me:”Well, right. I’ll check with her. But what about these other accounts?”

She rubbed her eyes and looked at the list.

Belittle:”These others, I can print for you. Go and check on that account with that girl in the meantime.”

I walked to Bavanee and enquired about the particular account. As expected, Bavanee swore she’d never seen it before. I walked back to Belittle’s office.

Me:”Well, my colleague told me she did not see the schedule. Are you sure it’s her, Bavanee, over there?”

Belittle:”What? Your neighbour came in just now to ask on that account and… yaddayaddadipedidooday”

Me:”That girl who’s next to me over there is Bavanee. The one sitting closest to your office is Radeeca. Could it be Radeeca you were talking about?”

Belittle stopped her yaddayaddadipedidooday and pointed at Radeeca.

Belittle:” Your neighbour lah! Sitting next to you.”

Someone kill me(preferably her). Radeeca was sitting a metre away from me. I was of a more neighbourly distance from Bavanee than Radeeca.

Me:”Ok, now that we’ve got this sorted out. May I ask what is this ‘Research’ account about?”

Belittle began stabbing the keyboard with her fingers violently. I swear I’ve never seen such violence done to a computing device in my life. The keys were shrieking as they were jabbed and punched. She could just type a hole out of the keyboard, man.

Belittle:”This is just a dummy account”

Me: “Hah?!D…dummy?”

Belittle looked at me as if I was the dummy.

Belittle:” What? So surprised. Never seen before ah?”

Seriously. I thought all that yaddadidooday was because she’s stressed over getting paid $11,000 a month and/or she generally finds auditors a repulsive lot.

Until I asked Radeeca and Bavanee whether Belittle was mean to them the way she was to my senior (ethnically Chinese by the way) and me.

Bavanee:”No. ”

Radeeca: “No. ”

What the f**k.

Me:”She must be racist, against her own race! She hates Chinese! It’s so obvious! And what’s worse, she’s Chinese!!! Too bad I’m yellow-skinned. Perhaps I should’ve gone for a really dark tan or something and pass myself off as Indian.”

Well. There ends a creepy chapter.

Despite the terror Belittle Chink wrought in or hearts and minds, Radeeca , Bavanee and I felt that this is a pretty enjoyable job. Bavanee even commented: “Feels like a holiday.” I guess having bubble tea every day after lunch and with nil senior presence, a job can really be a holiday!

We got to enjoy a joke or two everyday particularly at the client’s expense (and Belittle’s reverse xenophobic complex).

For instance, Bavanee was looking at the audit fees account and we started wondering aloud whether an audit firm could sue the client for overdue fees.

Me:” The client can refuse to pay by citing poor cashflow. I wonder if ‘Delete & Touch Tomatoes’ has a legal department specialising in suing and getting our money back”

Bavanee:”No. I don’t think such a department exists. So weird.”

Me:”Hmm… Yeah. Anyway, we can audit this client and write on the report for the shareholders to see, something like … … Contingent liabilty : Delete & Touch Tomatoes. “

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Hong Gil Dong (1995) anime

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キム・ミンジョン最高だ!韓国のNo.1俳優と歌手けど、いい声優だと思います。

37歳なのに若そうな~MBCの週末ドラマ「絶世美人パック・チョングム」の第4回にキム・ミンジョンがアプロンを着て、すごくMOEだぁ!!!はぁはぁ…

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