Monthly Archives: July 2007

Kiriban 7,777 プラス

Arzenstudio records 7,777+hits!

ありがとうございます!(^∀^)

じゃ、7月が終わりまで(One more day)、皆さんへプレゼントをあげます

注:BLが嫌いなら↓へ行かないでください。ごめんなさいね。
Warning: If homosexuality offends you, please DON’T SCROLL DOWN. Sorry!

 

After studying Ogasawara Uki’s (小笠原宇木)works *はぁはぁ*

ホ、ホ、本当にごめんなさい。(貧血)

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BLood+:Hagi x Solomon(指)

色っぽいぃ~★

ソロ(うえ)xハジ(した)

7,777hitsになってきます…ドキドキ

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☆羊でおやすみシリース★

Hitsuji de Oyasumi series vol.1: Bokura no Koe de…

I’m always amazed by the enterprising spirit of Japan. The Japanese just know how to squeeze money out of any lucrative venture to the last cent. Voice artists are big in this country (thanks to the anime & manga industry). Male voice actors who made it to stardom mostly have a BL related project or 2 in their portfolios. Ishida Akira(石田彰), Hoshi Souichiro(保志総一郎), Midorikawa Hikaru(緑川光), Koyasu Takehito(子安武人) etc are just a few examples.
A CD company, Honeybee, has released a CD series that feature celebrity voice actors counting sheep. Yes, those fluffy white things that go baa-baa.
The instruction booklet promises that the voice actors will count the sheep for you until you fall asleep.

So last night ,at around 10pm, I listened to ‘Bokura no Koe de…’ CD. (Thank you Ying san!!!)
石田彰counts the sheep:

‘羊が一匹…’ (はぁはぁ)
‘羊が二匹…’
.
.
.
‘羊が百匹…’
‘もう百匹目だね。どう…?眠くなった?’

眠くねぇぇぇ!!! (鼻血)

‘まだ?したかない子だね。’
‘羊が百一匹…’
.
.

(#´∀`#)… …

.
.
‘羊が百五十匹…’
‘ほーら、羊が… …まだダメ?’

ぐっはぁ!ダメェェェぇー!!!(貧血)

‘わかった。じゃ、続けるよ。’

Instead of feeling sleepy, I felt like I’m on a caffeine overdose. I just couldn’t fall asleep.
I even played 5 rounds of Taiko no Tatsujin Portable just to tire my eyes.
Eventually, I managed to force my eyes shut at around 3.30am.
This CD should be called ‘羊でおはようシリース‘.

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ラッキBL喘ぎ占い

I was exploring u-maker, a personality quiz maker site, and I discovered a very はぁはぁquiz.

It’s called the ラッキBL喘ぎ占い(Lucky Boys Love Panting-style Quiz).

The results tell me that my lucky BL panting style is an orgasmic はぁ…はぁ…あっ!(Haa…haa..Ah!)

  • 「余裕のない必死な受け入れ喘ぎ。苦しい中からも一生懸命快感を得ようと頑張る呼吸で。」
    A “completely, desperately takes it all in” panting. (sounds Uke…)(One) breathes in persistent pursuit for pleasure, even if it has to come from agony.

はぁ はぁ…(≡´∀`≡)

  • 「Khow Wee Tingさんの開運ポーズは、M字開脚です!」
    The pose that brings me better fortune is opening my legs wide, knees bent, in the shape of an ‘M’.

.
.
.
.
.

はっ?(゚Д゚!)

Erm… I wonder if they’ll allow me to do that on the bus or in the office… Anyway, I’m too stiff to execute this alphabetic pose. I might accidentally rupture my anus.

はぁ…はぁ…あっ!はぁ…はぁ…あっ!はぁ…はぁ…あっ!
Gyaaa-! No panting can get more erotic than this! It sounds so deliciously Uke~vvv
Ishida-! Midorikawa-!
It’s gonna be my lucky day if I get to hear someone go はぁ…はぁ…あっ LIVE!(腐)

So, what is your lucky BL panting style?

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Graduated:A Gift from Japan

I’m back from KL, stuffed with durian and tonight, I received something wonderful…

 

GASP!

It’s…It’s… Sephiroth with nekomimi !!! ニャン(≡´∀`≡)はぁはぁ

This wonderful gif anime, loaded with mega MOE power, is created by chihaya san from Destiny Castle as a graduation gift!!! The 1ST gif anime present I’ve ever received! (≧ヮ≦) うれしいー!うれしいー!
She went the extra mile by personalising the gif anime and I’m very very touched by her kind gesture. 
Why? Because it takes alot of effort and time to create a 10-second gif anime. You have to draw the picture, manage the layers, worry over the timing and file size… by the end of the day,when the picture comes to life, your whole body is close to atrophy.

I shall cherish this gift for its creator’s kind friendship and its overwhelming MOE power.

Chihaya san, ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!

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留守:KL行ってくる~18.07-22.07

I’m going to Kuala Lumpur to visit Ying san and stuff myself with durian.

In the meantime, please enjoy this while I’m away (^^:).

*I’m still deciding whether to add a BL page…いいですか?(゜∀゜)

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Devil May Cry: Missions 4-5

Trish appears in the 4th episode for the 1st time. Well, for mission 4… it’s Devil Will Cry.

The animation really sucks in this episode. The fight scenes between Trish and Lady were so terrible that my eyes are already shedding blood. Oh my god, I can’t believe the producer had the cheek to put it on WOWOW…Trish is a real cool and sexy character in the game so naturally I have my expectations on this character in the animation. Unfortunately, the anime is really shitty in my opinion. Trish じゃねよ!!!(`Д´)

 

In summary, episode 4 is a catfight between Lady and Trish, not over Dante, just over fashion. Lady grenaded Trish’s sexy black corset and Trish gave Lady a new hairdo with her gun. I shall not describe further because the fight scenes are too “cabbage janai” to bear. Legs are trying very very hard to look like legs, Trish and Lady are trying very very hard to look female. Worse, I don’t know why in this episode, both female leads HAVE to change into really ugly clothes. Trish wore a white top that probably does not require the animators to draw her trademark breasts. And Lady, she really wants to be called the Bag Lady for wearing the most hideous grandmother fashion. The animation is S-H-I-T-T-Y, so kusottare that I wanted to ffwd the video.

Thank god there’s a decent improvement in mission 5 because my tolerance level was running low. This episode’s about a guy(forgot his name) who kept stalking Dante just to check him out. He followed Dante to the ladies, he went to a port to watch Dante take down the mafia(don’t know how he got there in the 1st place), he got chased around by Patty for loitering, he even broke into Dante’s home office. It’s a stupid, tasteless plot about a guy with no balls playing paparazzi without a camera. The 2 redeeming features would probably be Dante’s insatiable hunger to whup demon ass (sexy!) and the ending scene where the guy joins Dante in having a nice strawberry sundae.Cute.

Just hearing Morikawa Toshiyuki say “たりねぇ” is enough.(#´Д`#)ハァハァ

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Graduated:Duty Done

I’ve officially, formally, really graduated from university on 14th July 2007.

 

Me and dad. Eh, it’s hard to fake a happy smile you know.

Finally, I’ve done my duty to get that piece of paper for my dad. Just a plain Merit, sans laude. These 4 years have been a tough journey for me, wrestling not just with the foulsome FRS, the plummetting GPA scores and other hair-thinning SMUgging, but also coming to terms with myself.

Since I’m on Daddy Scholarship, I’ve to just complete this degree for him. As for my dream to pursue art, I’ll have to earn enough to put myself in an arts school, preferably overseas. It took me 4 years to learn what it is like to do something that one has no passion for. My interior designer friend had been right. One has to do what one is passionate about and for me it was art. She had advised me to join her in an arts institution after our A-levels. And I had attended her graduation which was the happiest occassion for her and me. I was so happy for her I cried because she was also the school’s top student for the year!

Nainai the birth day girl , me and little brother.  

I did not look forward to my graduation ceremony as much as I did for hers. For me, it feels like I’m getting married to a man I do not love at all. Well, at least I can finally give my dad what he wants. Now, I can’t wait to divorce and elope with my true love~!

Of course there are some positive things about my SMU life. The flowers along this rocky road are the wonderful friends I’ve made. There’s Miss Ringo and Miss Linda who were my 1st project mates(we established ‘Wang Company’ in 2003), then there’re my future colleagues, Miss Mel and Miss 1wRong (who’s always right)!There’s also Miss Chic whom I advise to run others over with her black ‘Ferrari’. 

Linda, Arzen, 1wRong, Mel and Chic in her “Ferrari” 

Tricolor shoes-Black:1wRong,Beige: Linda and White:Arzen

They are extraordinary people who have inner strength, sky-high IQ’s and a very healthy sense of humour. That’s probably why they can tolerate my whinings, vulgarities, complaints and reticence(oh, and downloadings during lessons too).

Hey, I’m a shy person man, I don’t speak up much. I don’t like to do number-crunching work. Oh and I sure hate to study accounts and finance*bleargh*. Definitely a high-flyer’s worst nightmare. (I think Mr ALwaysWIN is totally traumatised by the AT project meetings) I’m very thankful for all those I’ve worked with all the same because if not for them, I’d not have learnt how to differentiate the cheebeys from the angels. Thank god I’ve only come across 4-5 cheebeys in these 4 years, that’s about 1 cheebey per year.

Oh, and I appreciate SMU for imparting the necessary skills of, to put it in layman’s terms, quality bullshitting. This is imperative in any situation, not just in the corporate working world where one has to bullshit to get to the next rung of the ladder, bullshitting is utilised to justify one’s screw-ups. I’m better at tikam-ing but I do still try to defecate with my mouth.

So that’s it. The end of my 16-year Singapore education. And there are significant effects to a person as shown in the following:

BEFORE receiving Singapore education

 

AFTER graduating from Singapore university

To prevent severe mental and physical retardation in an academic environment, Slacking is advised.

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Devil May Cry(アニメ):Missions 1-3

I crammed 3 episodes of Devil May Cry anime today.

And my thoughts on the 1st 3 episodes are…

Good effort, but why do I get the feeling that the 3rd episode might have been outsourced to China? What is Madhouse up to…? Ying san sent a message that the latest episode is “not cabbage janai”.”Cabbage janai” means outsourced animation gone wrong, in our terms. That motivated me to begin cramming DMC anime. I wanted to see the “cabbage janai”.

 The character Brad in episode 3 sometimes appeared to have lopsided eyes. In a scene at the bar, Brad’s butt… is trying very very hard to look like a butt. Episode 3 reminded me of NANA anime. The rocker Nana also had lopsided eyes in certain episodes. Her eyes were drawn at the level where her nose should be. Oh, and both animes were produced by *drumroll* Madhouse.

Anyway… …

In mission 01, Dante had to babysit this Patty kid who’s supposed to be the sole heiress to a very large inheritance (cash, mansion and all). Dante had to bring this kid to the family mansion by 6pm to collect the inheritance. So the scheming family members sent assassins to kill Patty or at least delay their arrival. In the end, Dante discovers that the real heiress, a very foxy lady also called Patty, had hired him to protect a decoy. The real heiress got her cash and sent them away with some compensation.

Yea. I don’t get why one the family member is a big ass demon which wants all the inheritance for himself. What does a big, powerful demon do with money anyway?(–||)

But I guess I know why Dante’s quite pissed with the real heiress. Probably he’d want to be her bodyguard rather than a babysitter… And that Patty kid’s REEAALLLY a pain in the arse.

Episode 2 is something I looked forward to because there’re motorcycle races and Lady makes her 1st appearance. Lady took on a job to exterminate a racing demon that had killed some bikers. Dante would have to take on the job if she could hit all 9 balls with one shot in a game of billiards. Lady sure knows how to hit some balls. Dante took on the job, raced with Vincent, who became leader of the motorcycle gang thanks to his dead biker oniisan; destroyed a bridge on the way and finally planted bullets into demon butt. Lady finished the job with a bomb. At the end, Vincent visited Dante to thank him and expressed his desire to race Dante once more. The episode ends with Dante leaning on the billiard table, telling Vincent he would race with him if he couldn’t get any balls into the hole; but if all 8 balls are in with a single shot, Vincent would have to buy him lunch.

I was hoping Vincent won’t have to buy him lunch… …(゜∀゜)

Episode 3. The most “cabbage janai” episode I’ve watched so far. (–|||)

It’s a Romeo and Juliet story where a rich man’s girl falls in love with a demon. Obviously the rich man is very against the relationship and hired Dante to exterminate this demon. Dante finds that this demon, Brad, is very much in love with the girl and is reminded of his parents. His father, Spada was a demon who fell in love with his human mother, Eva. Brad was sent by a big ass demon master to do some reconnaissance work and to prepare a huge welcome party for his master. Because he loved the girl very much, Brad decided to bite the hand that fed him and helped Dante to locate the big ass demon master. Dante stabbed the big ass demon back to where it came from. Brad saved the girl’s father who was wounded. And they lived happily ever after.Snore.

This Brad demon… is very wimpy. I really have no idea what the big ass demon sees in him. The average human being probably has more evil than this flower-obsessed guy. He didn’t even bother to retaliate when Dante had his gun in his face. The script is really crap and the animation… really stinks of outsourcing. The only part which I enjoyed in this sorry episode is when Dante stuffed pizza into his mouth and said that he had set a record in devouring a Large pizza in 5 mins.(4 mins to remove the olives, 1 min to eat)

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::口調バトン:: FF7

I received this interesting baton from chihaya san.(☆ヮ☆)I’ve copied the rules from her blog and pasted them below.
—————————————————
『口調バトン』→キャラ指定:「ザックス」 で!
絶対に掟は守ること。
1.回された人は、回してくれた人の指定したキャラの口調で日記を書くこと。
2.日記の内容は、普段書くものと同じで構わない。
3.回されたら、何度でもやること。
4.アンカーを突っ走る事は禁止されている。
5.口調がわからなくてもイメージ。一人称もそのキャラのものにすること。
6.これ以外のバトンを貰ったら、その回してくれた人の名前も、キャラなりの呼び方にする。
—————————————————
…Okaaay…I’ve never played FF7 before and my Japanese has been going downhill lately. BUT I’ll give my best! 頑張ります! (@ヮ@;)/

 

「ザックス。10歳(かも)の女から届けました」

このバトンをかわいい子から届けたー☆ シェルクと言うのだ。
OH!人も名前もかわいいィィ!!!(ヤベー、エアリスがこの記事を読んだら殺されるかも…)
39♪シェルクちゃん!

次の任務を待っている。

今日ひまだな~ アンジールはいない。クラウドもいない。あいつらがどこ行ったのだ?!

ま、一人でぼけっとするいけないだね。パソコンで「デジ絵の文法」をみた。

すげぇー!絵師さんはちょう速い!プロだ!一時間にフォトショップで大フォマットの絵を塗ってしまった。
完成の絵は萌え少女だ(恋愛シミュレーシオンゲームのターゲット見たい)。さいこうかわいいわ~vv

Zacks says moe 

絵師の仕事がいいだろう、毎日かわいいものを描く。
俺も絵師になりてぇ~(ソルジャになったなのに)*ボケー*

最近雑誌とか漫画とか読みたい。調べることがあるんだ。AMZN店で買い物に行ってみた。
いっけね!俺が13冊本を買ってしまった。(倒産)
次にアンジールからクレジットカードを借りような。

THe EnD

I must thank chihaya san for her invaluable assistance and for giving me the opportunity to use the macho”だ”and”だろ”. とても 楽しかったですよ!I had a lot of fun with this entry.(and a lot of practice with Japanese composition*汗*)

And the next person I’d like to pass this baton to is … the same person whom I got the baton from…

chihaya san! 「ヴィン」でお願いします!m(_ _)m

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BLood+: Solomon and Hagi

Solomon x Hagi

Solomon and Hagi (*´д`*)

…after studying 小笠原宇木’s artbook.(ハァハァ)

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沖縄ギャル(*゜w゜*)

Summer Saya

サヤたん~ vv  (ヾ´Д`)

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Food report: Thailand A Roi!(´∀`)

As written in the entry below, ‘A Roi’ means delicious in Thai. I’ve been chanting that phrase everyday in Thailand. (A-roi, a-roi, a-rooii…)The food and snacks are celestial to my palate. Thailand is simply a foodie’s paradise! Simply A-Roi!

Here’s a brief record of what I’ve put into my stomach in a week in Thailand.

Dinner 

Dinner…The most sumptuous meal of the day and I’m aware of my expanding waistline thank you very much. I’ll describe my Thai dinners chronologically in this report. 

On Day 1 and Day 4, we went to a restaurant famous for its savoury fish head steamboat for dinner. The fish head is rich with fat and the soup is flavoured with fried anchovies and pepper. There’s also deep fried mussel omelette, crispy on the outside and all gooey and chewy inside.

The 2-storey restaurant with its scrumptious fish head steamboat

Blue plate: Braised duck meat,   Brown plate: Stir-fried morning glory,  

Pink plate: Crab leg fritters,   Fish head steam boat,   Deep fried mussel omelette

On Day 3, at Korat, we went to a large eatery by the road side for some rice porridge. The porridge has a sweet barley fragrance with the rice grains still intact. It went well with the braised preserved vegetables, stewed for hours in pork broth until its soft and tasty. Bamboo shoots with straw mushrooms were also cooked in this manner. We also had a soup made of bittergourd stuffed with minced pork. The stuffed bittergourd is as large as my fist and so soft, that it can be cut easily with a spoon.                                                     
My dad wanted to order the artery-clogging salted egg yolks sprinkled with crispy bits of deep fried pork fat. We were served preserved duck egg salad instead. The black gelatinous egg white (uh, which is black) is springy while the creamy ink-black yolk just oozes. The egg slices are nestled among freshly sliced onions, red chillies and crunchy cashews, bathed in a tangy lemon juice dressing.

On Day 5, we went to a restaurant in a bar district. I tried deep fried pork intestines for the 1st time. Crispy on the outside and chewy in the inside. It’s damn delicious!

Deep-fried pork intestine

Dad’s friends also ordered grilled scallops, a crab, stir-fried kale and bittergourd(ゴーヤ) soup. It’s so good, you can see how happy Master Yo is. Just look at him grinning from ear to ear.

On Day 6, we stopped for dinner on our way back to Bangkok after visiting the fortune-telling monk. We had some tasty pork mince omelette, kale, steamed fish and prawn fritters. The highlight of the meal was the fishball steamboat and the deep fried cottonfish.

Minced pork ball, pinched fishball and egg tofu soup (with crystal vermicelli)

Deep fried cottonfish covered in mango strips and pork mince omellete

Tapioca balls, nata de coco and water chestnut in syrup and ice

The fishball is pinched in the middle and it’s so springy that when it rolled off my chopsticks, it bounced on the table.Boing! The deep fried cottonfish is crispy and the meat is as soft as… cotton. The tangy mango strips were crunchy and refreshing, which complemented the deep-fried fish very well.

 

Lunch

Here, I’ll pick out my 2 most memorable lunches. One, at On’s stall in Korat and two, our last lunch in Thailand.

When my dad was a monk, he was fed by On, a villager in the area. My dad liked porridge and On usually cooks porridge every morning for my dad. On and his family operate a stall by the roadside selling rice noodles and rice meals.

On’s stall with a tray of fried chicken on the left

From left: On’s elder daughter and her husband, On’s youngest daughter,dad,On’s wife, On and driver To

On’s signature rice noodles and driver To (he’s already 51 and yet…)

On’s very clever pet dog

On’s fried chicken : 100% organic

Village life could not be more authentic than this.There were fat flies buzzing all over and chickens pecking about, as On’s wife piled the table with plates of steaming food.
There’s a large tray of On’s signature fried chicken, fried pork and fried sausages. The chicken skin is crispy,red with spice powder and when you sink your teeth in, the juices just spurt into your mouth. (*´∀`*)
The sausages are sweetened with spices and mind-blowingly juicy too.
There’s also chicken soup with blood curd, carrots, mushrooms and turnip. Curdled blood is made of chicken or pig blood and is highly nutritious. It has the texture of tofu and does not taste or smell bloody at all. Shame that it’s no longer found in S’pore. People should be more adventurous and impartial with food.

Rice ,  salted eggs ,  chicken soup with blood curd and vegetables ,  minced pork soup with cabbage and egg tofu ,  a tray of fried chicken, pork and sausages

And for dessert, On served us a plate of khanom saisai and a tray of lychees and langsart. I am adventurous when it comes to food and I headed straight for the khanom saisai. Removing the toothpick that held the leaves together, I uncovered a wonderful surprise hidden within the tiny parcel of leaves. Inside the parcel sits a piece of black glutinous rice cake(黒いモチ) covered in smooth white coconut pudding. And within the black glutinous rice cake is a generous filling of coconut, soaked in brown palm sugar syrup. 

Sweet tangy langsarts, plump juicy lychees and khanom saisai

My dad was stunned because he always thought it’s slimy, ultra sweet banana covered in coconut pudding. On used to serve the parcels when my dad was a monk and my dad didn’t even try to open them up once.

Dad: Hoy! This looks scrumptious. 他妈的! (Means ‘goddamn’ in Chinese)
Me: Didn’t you eat this when you were a monk back then?
Dad: Aiyar… On always brings this to the temple for me but I didn’t open it to see.(regretfully)
Me: Now you know.

And in total, he finished 3 remaining parcels of khanom saisai later in the day, compensating for the numerous khanom saisai he had rejected in his years of monkhood.

 So, moving on… …

 

On our last day, we had lunch at a large eatery in Bangkok that serves mainly braised goose and other Thai-Chinese dishes. We ordered a large bowl of bittergourd(ゴーヤー) soup, braised goose with goose kidney and blood curd, huge pork buns, deep fried pork rolls, kale in oyster sauce and prawn fritters.

Bittergourd(ゴーヤー) and pork ribs soup which we always ordered in Thailand

The steaming buns arrived first and my dad tore one half of a bun for me. The inner skin of the fluffy bun is soaked with the meat juices and in the center of the meat filling is the yolk from a salted egg. When I put it in my mouth, I tasted heaven. (´∀`) A Roi!

Pork bun and behind, a plate of braised goose

I insisted on a plate of fried pork rolls. These are a Thai version of pork croquettes. Seasoned minced pork is mixed with mushrooms, shrimp and vegetables; and the rolls are fried to a golden crisp. These pork rolls are usually eaten by dipping them in sweet orange sauce. When I sink my teeth in, there’s a crunch and then a juicy burst of pork and shrimp filled my mouth. It’s gastronomical orgasm man….

Fried pork rolls with preserved vegetables and orange sauce on the side

The juicy insides of the pork roll. There’s shrimp, mushroms, leek, onion, carrot, turnip and pork

 

 

Snack

When we’re on the road, it is important to have some snacks to keep hunger and boredom at bay. The Thais are masters when it comes to making titbits. They’re the ones who coated nuts with crunchy coconut cream and invented the durian chip. Yes, the durian version of the potato chip.
Ajahn Heng said “A Roi” and monks never lie. I couldn’t stop munching. The chips don’t smell of durian and there’s a light, sweet aftertaste. Everyone can eat this!

Durian chips: light and crunchy

I got a bit thirsty and the sun was blazing at a rest stop near Bangkok. We got ourselves some grass jelly drink with crushed ice to refresh ourselves. The grass jelly strips are much thicker than the miserable hairthin strands in S’pore.

Grass jelly drink. I sucked and sucked and …

Fruits are another way to cool off and Ajahn Heng’s tangerines and rose apples really are a life-saver. Thailand’s rose apples are huge, red and has a slight sweetness. When you bite into one, there’s a シャクシャク sound and the juice starts to drip down your chin. The best part is, there is only a sweet cottony core and no seeds to for you spit out. Thailand also produces green tangerines. They are easy to peel and they have a light sweetness. Somewhat close to the taste of a mandarin orange or yuzu.

Thailand’s famous rose apple

Thailand’s green tangerines

And when we got peckish on the road after Patchong, we stopped at a roadside stall that sells corn. Nothing beats a juicy cob of steamed sweetcorn. Like the rose apple, corn juice was dripping down our chins.

Corn seller taking out the steaming corn

Sweetcorn steamed with a little salt and water. Hot to hold but nice to eat

Back in Bangkok, there are little stalls selling crispy pancakes drizzled with condensed milk and showered with coconut shreds.

Crispy pancakes with palm-sugared coconut (left) and raisins (right)

Crispy pancake with raisins, coconut and condensed milk

And when I needed to maintain my digestive prowess, I head to the nearest 7-11 (it’s everywhere!) for a yoghurt drink. There are lots of yoghurt products to choose from. Thailand has farms that produce milk for export. The most well-known is Meiji-CP which we can find in the supermarkets in S’pore.

There, it says “Drinking yoghurt “… but the ingredients are written in Thai

This big-sized Yakult imitation is not sold here and I wonder why… … Burp.

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Travel report:Thailand! (゜∀゜)

Sawadee Ka- (♂:Sawadee Kap)-Thai Ronald McD

I’ve just returned from trundling in a van from Bangkok to Korat and back to Bangkok again. Oh my poor butt(from getting tossed about in the van). Oh my poor digestive system(from eating too much).Oh my poor colon(only got to shit every 3 days).

Despite all the aches and digestive distress, I enjoyed the 7-day trip immensely. The weather was rather cool because it’s the monsoon season for countries like Thailand and Myanmar. In fact I was expecting floods but all there was were gusty showers and occasional drizzles.

The farmers prepare the land for the monsoon showers to water the rice paddies after harvesting the rice in June. Farmers and herds of chalk-white cows working the fields are a common sight.

I wish I could stay in Thailand longer. The weather was refreshingly cool, the people were extremely warmhearted and the food was terrific!  Singapore’s weather is terribly hot, the people are as ‘warm’ as a witch’s tit and the food … is imported from Thailand.

 Alright, I’ll stop complaining and get on with this report.

 

Day One:Arrival in Bangkok (26 Jun)

The meandering Chao Phraya river shot from the plane window

Bangkok city in the evening, shot from hotel balcony

Bangkok city at night, shot with a lousy camera

Probably the tallest building in Thailand, shot from van window.

Dad and I arrived in the afternoon and after picking up Ajahn Heng, we were driven by his long-time driver, To, to his 3rd(and very rich)wife’s house. Thailand’s economic progress and potential can be seen not just from the beautiful buildings towering all over the city, I could see it from the rows of beautiful housing estates. And our driver is living in one of them.(E-N-V-Y)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(left)Monks are high-tech too:Ajahn Heng and Dad

(right)Three-wives-Driver To and Dad

The current trend in Thailand is for them to wear humungous amulet discs the size of a jam bottle lid called chatukan. Driver To’s 3rd wife is in the business of making them and that explains the house…

After looking at piles of chatukans, we went to Chatuchak market to search for our long-time tour guide, Phoon, who had left Hatyai because of bad business all thanks to the bombings by radical Islamist idiots. We couldn’t find her. Neither did Ajahn Heng but he came back with a bag of rose apples for us. I didn’t know Thai monks can go shopping. Chatuchak market on Monday sells mostly furnishings and it’s not just sofas and tables, one can also find bronze statues, copies of stuff from Versailles, Rome etc. You name it, they make it.

We ended the day with a room service Thai massage. It’s my first time getting a full body massage and oh my god… I never expected that part of the massage is to getting my buttocks squeezed and my legs spread apart so the therapist can knead at the thigh joints, which is reeeaally close to my privates. The best part was when she twisted my spine. As she jerked my torso to the right, I heard …  

∑ギックリギックリギックリギックリギックリク

I couldn’t believe that’s my spine cracking but it felt really good. (´∀`)

Day 2: Leaving for Korat (27 jun)

We left for Korat at 8am Bangkok time. It is a 5 hour journey to Korat (now known as Nakhon Ratchasima), a rural part of northeast Thailand. On the way, there’s lots of temples, attap houses, fields, factories, petrol stations and tiny makeshift stalls selling food, clothes, clay stuff or toys.

Big Buddha, shot from van window

Corn stall, shot from van window. She sells custard apples too.

We took a rest stop at Patchong municipal for some lunch. All monks here are not allowed to eat after noon so Ajahn Heng must be fed before 12pm. My dad has been coming to this restaurant even before he married my mother. He’s a regular customer for more than 30 years and the owner of this restaurant had already passed away. Now the owner’s son is cooking for us. Their minced pork with basil is a must-eat. The meat omelette is crispy and juicy from all the deep frying. Another must-eat.

The Thai-Teochew restaurant in Patchong

 

As the saying goes: What goes in, must come out.

 

We have eaten and drank too much and we had to answer the call of nature. All I could see was fields and open road. I was contemplating on an empty bottle until a heavenly vision appeared. I saw a silver temple appear and I heard the monk say in Thai to my dad: ‘Let’s make a stop here.’

The silver temple still under work in progress, shot from van

We tumbled out of the van and rushed to the toilets. Nothing could look more heavenly than the gleaming white surface of a squat toilet. May all sentient beings be happy.

Common toilet facilities in Thailand, a pail of water to flush and a squat

After getting out of the blissful state of catharsis, Ajahn Heng offered to bring me to the silver temple. And off we went while my dad takes a smoke.

And the direction is to the left…

Through the canopy and over the bridge…

Pass the fountain…(stupid finger…)

The main hall of the silver temple with Ajahn Heng

The temple ceiling adorned with golden lotus

A view from the temple entrance

The silver temple WIP, taken from the bridge

The driver and Ajahn Heng told us this temple was commissioned by a Thai superstar who went as far as Hollywood. Now this guy is in his sixties, filthy rich and had experienced informal marital bliss with more than 50 women. Well, not surprising since even our driver married 3 women and Ajahn Heng’s younger stepson is managing the same number of wives too. Why are the women so willing to share a man? My theory is that since a portion of the male population end up as monks, resigned to a life of celibacy, and another portion of them end up as tranvestites, resigned to a life in pursuit of estrogen, breasts and penis removal; there is hardly enough good, macho men to marry.

And our journey to Korat continues for another 2 hours until we finally reached Ajahn Heng’s monastery.

The left building is the main hall and monks’ quarters

The main temple(back), shot from a clearing

The main temple(side) with small empty altars

The main temple’s side entrance facing the lake

The lake with water lilies in the evening

Water lilies in detail. They bloom in the morning and close in the evening

Inside the main temple

Ajahn Heng at work, adding touches to his centipede painting

Carved teak windows overlooking the lake

 

I check out the back entrance, my dad checks out the front

It rained thrice and we were trapped in the main temple. I decided to take a nap at the back entrance while my dad and Ajahn Heng chat among themselves in Thai. After the rain is finally reduced to a drizzle, we discovered that our footwear is thoroughly soaked. My burmese slippers were cold, wet and slimy because the material is like suede and it’s covered with dead skin and sand. When I slipped them on, my feet enjoyed the most ghastly sensation.

We left the temple with some amulets, some cloths painted with pictures of centipede and dragon and a very large wooden penis. I don’t get the penis thing. My dad reprimanded me not to think of it in a sordid manner but see it as holy. Yeah, I know it symbolizes  potent power. The Indians pray to the phallus, the Japanese in Aichi prefecture bring out really big wooden ones in a festival and the Thais, especially those doing business, pray it will bring them profits. My maid told me the origin of this phallic worship comes from the ancient time when the Burmese (Myanmar) were at war with the Siamese (Thailand) and Ayodhaya(Ayutthaya) is centrestage for this political skirmishes. The Burmese king was very pissed when the Siamese king took a Burmese lady for his consort so in a show of insult, the Burmese king stood in front of Ayodhaya and flashed his royal penis at the city. The city prospered and all the citizens attributed the sudden prosperity to the Burmese king’s penis. They made a took a mould cast of his penis(with permission of course) and covered it in gold. The rest is history…

 

 

 

Day 3 : Longtha’s temple(28 jun)

Longtha was an abbot of the monastery(Chok Chai area in Korat) my dad entered into, on a temporary monkhood basis, after I was born.  My dad told me that Longtha wanted to carry me when I was a baby but because it’s not allowable for a monk to touch a female, young or old, he would totter around pushing me about in my pram. I remember him instead of putting his hand on my head, he’d take a big, black, dirty-looking scraper and placed it on my head to give his blessings. Crowds see this great monk for healing and teachings. His temple received so much donations that after his death a few years ago, the temple was turned from a single main hall covered with cobwebs to a huge courtyard housing one main temple gilted in gold and mirrors, a large multi-storeyed hall and a refurbished main hall. Plus, a memorial tomb housing Longtha’s belongings and other stuff.

Back when I was only 6, the toilets were all holes to pee in, very dark and vats containing water to flush the excreta. Now, there’s 3 toilets: one for the monks, one for the men and one for women. And all with decent flush systems and taps to wash after one’s business is done. So much has changed.

The refurbished main hall. Monks’ quarters on 2nd floor

The multi-storeyed hall

Longtha’s memorial tomb

Detail from relief on Longtha’s memorial tomb

Front entrance of main temple

Main entrance at side of temple

Back entrance of main temple with lily pond

Detail of relief on main temple(back)-Buddha seated on 3 headed elephant

Whenever my dad comes to visit, there’s always good lunches prepared by On, a stall owner who used to cook porridge for my dad when he’s a monk. The monks don’t have to go out to collect alms during these sort of special occasions. On’s fried chicken puts KFC to shame and his rice noodles are really good. There’s also green curry, fried fish, pork mince with basil etc. And the custard apples, small bananas and dukus make a delightful conclusion to a gut-bursting meal.

Monks have lunch near the altar

A monk with his amulet collection, Pai, On(yellow shirt) and Ajahn Heng

Pai was born with certain congenital defects and abandoned for the temple to care for him. He cannot speak and could only gesticulate and make panting noises. The fingers of his right hand are bunched up together and he could only work with his left hand. My dad told me when he was a monk, he used to help out Pai who, at that time, was a teenager. Now Pai has become a very diligent worker, helping to clean up the temple and even helping out with lunch. I used to be afraid of him as a kid because his twitches and noises scared me. He’s a nice person and always seems so happy. When I see Pai, I sometimes think he’s more fortunate than most of us. The new abbot would smile and ruffle Pai’s hair. My dad would gesticulate with him and they’ll laugh together. It’s funny to see my dad mimicking Pai’s noises and putting Pai’s chatukan(still around his neck) into his shirt pocket, asking Pai to give it to him. I was a little worried he might strangle Pai by accident…

My dad asked for them to bring out old photos of the temple. I was surprised to find the temple not only kept photos of my dad as a monk… but also of my family!

Longtha and Dad

Dad and pup(aka temple food disposal unit). The dogs eat what the monks can’t finish

Disco Dad and Longtha

Guess who…

From this…

… to this. Me, dad and Longtha’s successor

Evening in Korat

Schoolchildren going home

We left the temple in the evening and had a steamboat dinner at MK restaurant in the Mall. The sauce is bloody good. I can just drink it. The Mall is the sole shopping mall(duh) in Korat. Shopping was great. Shoes are priced at Bt 199 (SGD10) and they fit perfectly with no tears to my eyes. There’s lots of nice casual fashion which I can’t get in S’pore and even a large selection of Doraemon, Disney and Thomas the Train paraphernalia! There’s Doraemon handbags, backpacks, clocks, water bottles, lunchboxes, calculators, mirrors, CD cases, purses, memo pads, files et cetera.

And I can’t believe Miss Ringo, who toured Japan for a week in May, couldn’t find any Doraemon stuff.(-_-|||)

 

 

Day 4: Leaving Korat (29 jun)

Korat cats and South East Asian Games countdown

We checked out of the hotel early in the morning and headed to Chok Chai to pick up Ajahn Heng from Longtha’s temple. We had to head to the mechanic instead to remove a nail from the van’s tyre. While waiting, I ventured to a demolished building to capture Thai grafitti. Really good shit, I tell myself. Better than the bland vandalism I see in S’pore.

The Vitarka Mudra, gesture of Teaching

Freddy from Nightmare on Elm St. ?

And the Thais’ creative flair can also be seen on their buses. I’ve seen Popeye, Digimon tamers and Ah!My Goddess painted on the buses.

 We had lunch at On’s stall and he prepared a feast: 2 soups, fried chicken, fried pork, fried sweet sausages, salted egg for the porridge, fruits and dessert.

On’s stall with family and a customer on the furthest left

Camera-shy Pai, shot at the right moment

After bidding farewell to the temple and with Ajahn Heng at the passenger seat, we headed back to Bangkok via a mountainous route. Grapes are grown and wine is made in this area because of the cool climate.

We made a rest stop at a food shop so Ajahn Heng can have his lunch. The shop sells hot rice meals and snacks. It is here that Ajahn Heng introduced me to Monthong Durian Chips. He said ‘A Roi ‘ which means tasty in Thai. A Roi indeed because I finished half a packet.

We continued our journey back to Bangkok and as the van nears the expressway towards the airport, driver To pointed out the Toyota assembly factory. It’s unbelievably huge for me judging by it’s length alone. The factory grounds are probably as big as an industrial park in S’pore. Most Japanese car companies like Toyota have assembly plants in Thailand. They assemble cars for export to the rest of Asia and for domestic use. That explains why on the roads, one can see Toyotas, Hondas, Nissans and Isuzus because its cheap for Thais to buy these vehicles.

Toyota plant-half of it is what I could capture with my camera. The men in orange outside the fence are a good reference to the size of the factory.

We arrived at the airport to pick up dad’s friends. Master Yo, Mr Lwa and his wife. As the van neared the airport, angels first greet us with a wai gesture.

Then King Bhumipol Adulyadej welcomes everyone…

The Bangkok airport with it’s elegant glass control tower

Bangkok traffic police and the notorious traffic congestion

After picking dad’s friends, we went to MBK to meet with Phoon and shop abit before heading for another steamboat dinner. We ended the day with a visit to the Thai massage parlour.

 

 

Day 5: A day in Bangkok (30 jun)

We headed to Erawan early in the morning to pray to the famous golden 4-faced Buddha. It is located at the entrance of a luxury goods mall and people throng the shrine to pray for good luck, especially in the lottery.

The shrine, right next to a Burberry shop window

The front of the Buddha

Devotees making offerings to each face of the Buddha including hiring dancers

The dancers dance and sing for blessings (music included)

Rows of stalls selling flowers and offerings

After that, we visited Ajahn Heng’s stepson at his office so Master Yo can have a look at its Fengshui. He treated us to a nice lunch of braised goose and other yummy dishes. When it comes to hospitality, the Thais are really good at it.

For the rest of the day, it’s shopping at the wholesale market(officially bankrupted myself), a good seafood dinner and a nice Thai massage.

 

 Day 5: Heading to somewhere near Korat (01 jul)

A mythical explanation of the lunar eclipse

 

We set off early in the morning to pick up a business-minded monk at his temple whom we needed to get us to a fortune-telling monk. The temple housed a preserved corpse of a monk. It has been kept there for years. The temple smells a little but it’s the smell of cat piss and dog poo. The temple helpers take care of the animals that live in the temple grounds, feeding the cats and dogs.

Mother cat and her 2 kittens. It’s amazing how genes work. The mother cat’s coloring has split into these 2 kittens. I spent the morning playing with the orange kitten, teasing it with my camera strap. So CUTE vv

The Bullied- still suckling on mother cat

The Bully- stupid enough to take on the big cats and humans

The Siamese. Fierce enough to kill a person. No kidding

After picking up the business-minded monk, we set off on a very bumpy ride to northeast Thailand (the suspension system of the new van was faulty). 5 hours of butt torture and getting tossed about, we arrived to see the fortune-telling monk, having a nice smoke. 

The fortune-telling monk: 100% pure, all natural

It’s amazing. Each person has a large alms bowl filled with water and the monk twines a white string around the bowls and between each person’s joined thumbs. He lights four candles over the bowl and starts chanting softly as the melting wax drips into the water. Although the monk’s hands were perfectly still, I could see the water swirling and  numbers started to form. He’s not blowing at the water either and even if he is, I’d still be amazed by such a skill to form numbers by swirling water with his breath.

My fortune is on the left. Dad’s fortune is on the right. The monk said the darkened ‘U’ on the extreme right of his fortune meant that his marital life is terrible. Dead on. The monk would then sweep the wax bits back into the water and bath the persons with the freezing water.

Brrr… …

As the others are undergoing their share of “blessed torture”, I saw a row of Buddha statues in different poses. In Thailand, each day of the week is represented by a Buddha’s pose. More detailed information such as personality type of each day can be found here.

Monday-Make Peace Not War

Tuesday- Take A Break

Wednesday morning- Giving and Receiving

Thursday-Meditation in progress

Friday- Contemplating

Saturday- Under the protection of Naga

Sunday- Self-restraint

We left the monastery and bounced our way back to Bangkok for another gruelling 5 hours. This time I gave Thai massage a miss because I’ve had 10 hours of intense butt massage for the day. What eased the butt pain a little is the beautiful scenery and the space! So much space! The wide expanse of fresh green fields is rejuvenating to one’s spirits. And the sky! It keeps changing its colours. From smoky cobalt to orange gold with rosy tints as the sun begins to sink into the horizon. I tried to capture what I saw but… I think I need to buy a better camera.

 

 

Day 7: Last minute shopping and leaving for home (02 jul)

We headed to Chinatown for some last minute shopping. It’s a foodstuff paradise! There’s hundreds of vendors selling dried goods, fruits, meats, seafood, cooked food, snacks, confectionery, household wares, semi-precious stones, beads… and for those with more baht to burn, there are several goldsmith shops displaying thick chains of god-knows-how-many carats gold. I saw colourful ang ku kuehs, the transluscent skins bursting with bean filling, sacks of dried fish maw, braised ducks soaking in huge bubbling tubs of soysauce, soft blocks of brown steamed cakes sweetened by palm sugar, heaps of cream-yellow gingko nuts, fat rolls of sea cucumber submerged in ice water, basins of preserved vegetables and salads; the smells and sights could make one salivate. My dad and his friends were shopping like a bunch of housewives. Ajahn Heng and I were standing by the lotus root stall when he asked whether I’d like some after the vendor put a freshly roasted chestnut onto my palm *OUCH*. I shook my head to refuse. I forgot that Thais are very generous people. Ajahn Heng bought 5 boxes for everyone. When we’re back home, it took my maid, my dad, my bro and me to finish one box of chestnuts in 3 days.

A fengshui collector’s dream

A belt buckle depicting a rat sitting atop a tiger

One of the crowded lanes

Sausages, pigs’ trotters, hearts and other piggy parts

Buying a few bunches of plain glutinous rice dumplings home

In Thailand, I noticed that many Thais wear yellow polo shirts. Phoon told us its a marketing gimmick by some T-shirt manufacturers. To wear yellow is to wish the King well. The yellow polo tee started when His Highness was hospitalised for a urinary problem and the people wore yellow to wish for his speedy recovery. Some entrepreneur came up with a yellow polo tee and now virtually most of the Thais are wearing it. I often mistook a customer for a shop assistant because everyone’s wearing the same polo tee! Not just street hawkers and massage therapists, even professionals working in banks and government offices are wearing the ubiquitous yellow polo tee. And they can dress in this manner any day of the week!

Yellow here… 

Yellow is everywhere

Aah…I wish I could stay longer. There’s so many surprises to be found in Thailand. Like for instance, I saw a video shop flanked by 2 Ultraman statues. Drama, anime and manga are already in Thailand, all dubbed and subtitled.

Thai Ultraman guarding the left side of the shop

 And so much shopping to do! The architecture, both modern and traditional, are absolutely awesome. There’s Centralworld mall which I didn’t have the time to go. Oooh!!! Just looking at the huge 7-storey building is enough to make me lick at the van window!

1/4 of the mall, shot from moving van

Third 1/4 of the mall, shot from moving van

Thailand is amazing. What I’ll miss most is not the spending spree although I’m ready to return home penniless from contributing to the Thai retail industry, I’ll miss the delicious food and the friendliness of the people. They have the most beautiful smiles, the sort that warms your heart and makes one forget all the sadness that had happened in one’s life. The Thais are very generous and courteous people. I’ve never seen anyone frown, not even once (only driver To when he’s managing his 3 wives). They smile so easily because they know it’s free while in S’pore, people here seem to have trouble smiling, the edges of their lips go downwards instead of upwards. Everyone bows slightly and place their palms together in a graceful wai and thank us for buying stuff or eating at their restaurant or getting a Thai massage. It didn’t matter even if it’s only 20 baht tip (SGD $1), they’ll thank you so profusely as if you had given them a blank cheque! And they know that 20 baht can only buy themselves a bowl of rice noodles at some roadside stall. Yet they don’t frown at our ‘cheapo-ness’. Truly, we have a lot to learn from the Thais.

And thanks to the fortune-telling monk… I’m going to Thailand again in January! (≧ヮ≦)

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Filed under Personally exposed, Spending Spree, Travelling:Outstation