Monthly Archives: March 2007

An SME of my dreams (…sort of)

I just finished auditing a company called Take Long Metals Pte Ltd.

The company is doing pretty well with a healthy turnover of more than $5 million and a tidy profit of less than $500,000.

Well, what’s so great about it?

When I first got hold of this assignment, I was filled with trepidation after my manager warned me that the inventory could pose a problem. Then, there are the unexplainable items on the trial balance such as the all-important accumulated profit account (the balance is 2 years ago?!!F**K!), provision for taxation and other shit.

So the day finally came, yesterday that is, for me to traverse the ulu parts of bugis, taking great care not to fall into the Rochor Canal and get run over by Malaysian buses. When I came to the company’s office, I rubbed my eyes twice.

Yeap, all I can see is lots of metal bars and sheets, and as I squeezed my way up the wooden stairs to the accounts office, I can’t help noticing the rubbish scattered in various places. Shit, I thought, are they going to cram me into a small dusty room like Fin-Ass Co?  The office is small and there’s lots of rust, some dust and heaps of old,old appliances. Even the toilet is furnished with a rusty wire to hold the toilet roll.

But that’s where the nightmare ended.

The accountant(well not really, she’s just helping out her husband) is a real warm and friendly person, an owner of a white PSP. She’s pretty slack and does not discourage this wonderful human quality in her office, she even advised me to come much later, after 10am. The 2 intern guys are having a ball of a time reading manga, playing PSP, talk crap and occasionally do the typical intern work such as photocopying etc.

And there’s the young sister-in-law who’s around my age and self-proclaimed Car Goddess. That’s because she’s into racing car games and spends her free time racing her hot pink car with her ‘png-kueh’ pink PSP.

One of the intern guy’s already tempted to buy a PSP for himself, most likely under the influence of the accountant, her sister-in-law, and now, the auditor. So whenever I describe the sister-in-law’s PSP as ‘png-kueh’, this guy will say he prefers ‘soon kueh’.*faints*

Then what’s mine? ‘Black chai tau kueh’?

Anyway, the audit’s not too bad despite the accountant describing the system as “f**ked up”,”kan-nee-nah” and “cheebai”. She’s very helpful, getting what I needed and making the interns do intern work. And more importantly, she strikes me as a sincere person, not like the Fin-Ass Co cheebey who has the same name as her.

Really, it’s like a dream. I wish I can work in a company like that. Not posh and new but it’s fun and down-to-earth. These people know the importance of being a bum!

The audit ended early and we went to a game shop during lunch time to get the interns their PSP. After they rushed back to the office, it began to rain heavily. (T_T) 

Literally lah. 

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Wanna see some BL fun?*see the last pic*

From BLood+ Adagio, Diva and her little chevalier,Alexei Romanov.

She sure has a taste for young boys. Look what happened to Riku.*sobs*

I painted this in the public PBBS and I doubt it’ll garner any comments because Diva looks irritatingly smug here. (-д-*) She’s quite an interesting character though.

Hmm No BL fun to see here because has explicitly stated the content regulations.(highlighted in sky blue. Wow.)

Sigh, brings back the traumatic memories of discovering all my lovely BL pics erased by the Oekakibbs moderators. Without any warning some more! Grrrr…

That was why I was so anxious to remove or at least change the *cough cough* picture of Saya being *cough cough* in 流花 san’s PBBS. Oh-! But it was so enjoyable and exhilirating to paint the picture.

I’ll remember to play by the rules.

No nudity, no explicit sexual activity, no tongue-all-over, no pubic hair. Why no pubic hair? I don’t know. I thought it would provide natural, organic censorship. Better than mosaic.

Below are 2 wholesome BL pics for the imagination.(I hope)

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PMS:Pain Maximum Syndrome

I nearly fainted in my client’s warehouse toilet this morning after discovering that my ‘auntie’ had come all the way to Tuas to visit me.

No, not from the shock of finding an angry red patch staring back at me.

My head was spinning and my hands turned cold and started to shake. I had to sit on the toilet with my head on my knees to keep it from lolling about. Sucks. Really sucks.

I really hate the monthly blood-letting. Even now, my abdomen’s simmering in pain and my back…ah,my poor back. Oh, and I’m perpetually always hungry too. 

Blood minus. 

Back to the toilet story.

It’s my last day at Fin-Ass Co. and god help me, I wouldn’t want to return another day to the stinky room that the client specially prepares for auditors to die in. Nor do I want to eat another mouthful of their artery-clogging lunchbox. Frankly, I think they’re trying to kill me.

With the giant resolve to leave this place alive, I searched my baba-bag for the plastic packet of samples. Luckily, I was too lazy back then to remove the sample sanitary pad that I had gotten at the bangla-city bus interchange from my bag. Otherwise I’d have to stuff my pants with a tissue roll.

Back then, when I received the sample from the promoter, I noticed one of her colleagues was blur enough to push a packet into a young man’s hand. The guy looked pretty happy when he took the sanitary pad sample. He wasn’t so happy after one of his female friends pointed at him and laughed. He didn’t have a clue why everyone was laughing until she told him there’s no way in hell he’ll ever get to use it. Then it dawned on him. Soft cottony absorbent… of course, it’s either a packet of tissues or something he’d never dream of wiping his sweat with.

Oh boy. (00,)


Filed under Blood+, Pissed, Revelations on work, The Funny and the weird

PLUS Blood

Saya n Hagi-the Cellists

Isn’t this fantastic? (click to see the whole picture)

And this?

Blood+ Solomon

I don’t know where the energy and inspiration comes from but I’ve managed to paint 3 pictures in a day that look like a large amount of effort and computing power had been spent.

Okay, I was totally encouraged by chihaya san et al from Destiny Castle. (Yup, you can see the banner in the blogroll.Go ahead and click.) (>w<)

If I were to choose between the euphoria of painting nice pictures and drowning in chocolate while having sex (shit,where did such a shitty example come from??), I choose painting!!! Despite the aching neck and back, bleary eyes, suppressed bladder and the risk of thrombosis, I choose painting. Amen. 

It’s 1.53 am now and I have to get up early for work. #$@*!!!

I don’t want to go to work!!! Yucks! Why am I born a textbook regurgitator?

Sometimes I wish I’m a school dropout with nothing to feed me except my art.

But then again… I won’t be able to afford Japanese lessons and imports by Kinokuniya if I were to subsist on $900/mth gross salary. (0_0)



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My Brother’s A Retard…

…actually, he’s really good at playing one.

Me with a bad acne breakout and my retarded ototo.
Today, he is going into the S’pore Civil Defence Force to do National Service as the 103th batch of wide-eyed, apron-string-twirling pansies. He will be enjoying the luxurious dorm facilities, complete with a princess-sized spring mattress and knitted blankets tonight. Every month he will be given a $300 allowance to spend anything he likes, it’s a lot compared to the measly $120 the military recruits get in Pulau Tekong. Plus, the medical centre is a 5 storey, fully air-conditioned complex that puts SGH to shame. To top it off, he’ll be home every weekend. That means I’ll be blinded by his shiny shaven scalp this Friday evening.

The only blot to this wonderful getaway is the daily physical training exercises. But I don’t worry since his acting skills are of Oscar-winning standards. He can squeeze tears out of the hardest stone. The only thing he can’t squeeze is a cent out of me.

I must say it is a wonderful thing he will be trained to rescue lives and save property instead of learning to take out lives in the military but what an irony… He’s a proficient destroyer of many things.

Chronologically, from the time when he was only 6 years old, he has set a warehouse on fire, burnt a car windscreen with fireworks,cut electrical cables,killed 4 video game consoles, nearly murdered my PC, demolished the bed frame by jumping on it, destroyed 2 mattresses with his spit,rendered the on/off button of the TV useless, broke the handle of the toilet flush, split the shower head holder to 2 … … 

Think twice before you call 995. He could be the one despatched to your area.

Anyway, it’s nice to see him getting ordered around by the commander. It’s so funny because my brother’s 1.85 meters tall and the commander’s a fat brown midget. Anyone who stands next to him becomes a hobbit.

Yeap. An apron-string-twirling pansy with my maid/aunt.


Filed under Personally exposed, The Funny and the weird

RPG: Magna Carta Portable


Sexy,white-haired guy: Calintz (CV:保志総一郎)

Voice by Souichiro Hoshi of Gundam Seed, Saiyuki etc

Sexy, chesty lady in yellow: Rith

Calintz n Rith Official PSP wallpaper. Yum.

I began playing this delightful RPG only yesterday and I’m hooked.

The battle system is challenging especially when the player has to input the correct buttons at the precise moment in order to execute an assault on the enemy.

 Painted in cupitor amore oebbs

But to get to see Calintz’s sexy hips the next level with a rewarding CG movie is worth the hard work, sweat and sore thumbs.

 Look here Calintz!More oebbsing.

The character and monster design is absolutely gorgeous! Kim Hyung Tae is god. Even minor monsters are carefully designed and are aesthetically pleasing. Not really happy to see Calintz and his team get thrashed by them though.

There was one particular battle where Calintz and Rith were the only participants, contending with 2 bloody Blastworms (they actually resemble King Arthur’s walking tin cans not worms.) and Orha, the boss. Rith can only heal herself and not assault at all. So all the back-breaking work has to be done by Calintz himself. In any RPG game, this means certain death.

So Calintz’s HP plummeted to zero and in desperation I made Rith run out of the field to escape from the battle. Imagine how it’d look when she’s dragging Calintz’s limp body around. How kakko ii … …

Another funny thing about Rith is when she was making an introduction to the rest of Calintz’s team in the town of Lestar.

Rith: わたし、リース。(I am Rith)

She says this and nothing else.

恐ろしい!Sorry for the freakish Rith.

And she repeats the same sentence over and over to a sullen, beefcake team member called Haren until he exclaims “WTH? What’s with this girl? Ok, I’m Haren.”

This game rocks and I must say it made want to get a PS2 for it’s wider selection of battle executions and Calintz’s sexy body CG movies in larger resolution.


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When the Faithless Goes to Temple…

I went to the temple of the Goddess of Mercy with my aunt/maid yesterday not just as an excuse to get a half day leave from Ganasaikang.

I had a need to seek some divine help from these months of bad health and mental torment.

When the faithless go to seek divine help, it is a sign that they have exhausted means to help themselves and this is the last resort. I never had much faith(religion) and most of the time when I offer incense, it’s a gesture of formality. I used to go to church in my high school days (since it’s a Catholic school) and these guys in church always say “You must have faith in God”. I didn’t really get it at that time. Why must you believe in something that’s intangible, invisible and a figment of imagination? One can’t always rely on this invisible being alone, expecting it to drop food and clothes from the sky.

At that time, I only believed in the tangible because I had so much hope and faith in myself that I can achieve anything if I put my mind to.

Now, things are different. I’ve never felt so weak, so lost,so afraid to die and yet wanted to die so I won’t have to suffer anymore. I no longer believe I’m mentally and physically strong enough to chase the dreams I abandoned 4 years ago.

Everyday I only concern myself with controlling my panic attacks and emotional turbulence, hiding it so I can appear as my normal self. My aching body feels like it’s going to give anytime. I have no idea what kind of disease this is. I really wish it’s a physical problem, like Addison’s disease or what not. But the doctors back then said it’s only an anxiety attack.
(0_0) (F–k them.)

I prayed earnestly for health and happiness (and a compassionate DT manager). My aunt got me those chopsticks where you play the game of probability by shaking the container until one chopstick with a number on it falls out. After tossing and shaking for 10 mins with a few breaks in between, one chopstick finally came out.

The guys gave me a thin, pink slip of paper and after reading it, I finally understood why people believe in gods they cannot see. In this case, why so many people and millionaires flock to this temple.

The slip of paper read: A pagoda erected at a great cost. It gleams from every angle. Be a bit more pious and pray. Heaven will bless you for what you are doing.

And below that paragraph is the interpretation: You have luck. People see it. Do not worry. Many good times are ahead.
Very thin...
This is what I want to read to keep me going. Who could expect such a small thin piece of crepe to save a person’s hopes and give so much comfort and courage to face another day?

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