Yesterday, my bowels were so feisty that I could launch myself to space like a rocketship if all my farts were concentrated and released into one spectacular giant fart. It felt as if my intestines were knotted inside and my colon is perpetually in flatulent mode. I didn’t eat any beans for the whole week nor any other items from the “intestinal suicide” food group. Groaning and parping, I decided to give my dad’s recommendation a try.
He claimed that this chinese herbal medicine called ‘Liu Wei Di Huang Wan’ (Six Flavor Ground Yellow Pills) could bring my digestive system to balance and reduce dizziness. Each dosage is 30 pills and taken twice a day.
After swallowing 15 at a time with some warm water, I stayed up overnight to study an illustration magazine called Sumoru eS and finish some oustanding anime.
I woke up at about 7 plus am and I felt quite hot. I thought: Stupid weather. Freak, can’t believe I sweated in my sleep. Tossing the blanket aside and turning, I wondered why the temperature is so humid at dawn when it’s supposed to be cold. Then… … I felt something other than sweaty and irritated.
I felt horny. Masculine-If-I-had-a-penis-I-would-XXX-you horny. （”゜ﾜ゜”）
Omigod. Did I swallow one of my dad’s potent medicines by mistake? No way. I remembered distinctly the bottle that was meant for me. I broke the seal myself and I had read the label carefully before taking the pills. In the end, I overslept, had to sit in the toilet for ages for the fecal matter to drop, shower and missed Gundam Seed Destiny.
It didn’t exactly stop there. While washing my underthings and looking at the mirror without my glasses, I thought: Whoa… If I’m a guy I’d definitely -beeep- you right here. Maybe my soul should be split to two so in the next life, it can reincarnate as a couple and we can -beeeeeeeep-.