Monthly Archives: June 2006

Life at Go-N-Saikang: Week 3…Humour me please?

It’s the 3rd week and I’ve begun on company no.3. 4 bloody boxes of crap waiting to be opened and flipped till my arm wears out into a stump.

And I’m so bored. I often sleep with my eyes open and flipping the thick pile of crap in auto mode. Dead fish…I’m sure that’s what my eyes looked like. My social index is still low and joke meter is nil, bordering negative. Am I a snob/ antisocial/shy? It’s like I’m not at all interested in what some of them are really excited about. Like football, durians and eegh, accounting. I’m sooo bloody fake when I laugh along with them at a bland remark so I just concentrate on chewing my lunch away. I feel like Batman. In the day I see numbers and walk around in a suit like a robot. At night I immerse myself with what I enjoy most: Anime, Bitching and Crap.
I said it once and will say it again: I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!! I miss all of you guys and the crapping!

These few days, I’m totally enamoured by Kazuo Ishiguro’s ‘Remains of the Day’. It is a novel everyone should read because it talks of how one perceives his career, life and ,a rare word these days, honour. Stevens, an English butler, narrates his life and that of those around him who made an impact on his professional career and solitary life.

One particular thing which made a deep impression in me is when Stevens talks of how he prepares alot of witty responses to meet any joking remarks that comes his way. Twice, he was puzzled that everybody did not respond readily to his well-formulated witticism. An example was when the rural guests joked about the landlord’s wife making a din at the crack of dawn. His well-formulated witticism which he trained so hard for occasions such as this was

”A local variation of the cock crow no doubt.”

And silence… Until one of the folk laughed after seeing Stevens’ amused face.

The funniest thing about this was Stevens was rather pleased with his witticism and thought that the joke did not get across because he did not speak clearly enough.

Yes, I know how he feels. I don’t want to crap with my colleagues because I don’t think they’ll get it. One incident proves this, amongst other bland jokes. One of the SMU interns was telling the other a joke.

Intern 1: What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?

Intern2: Uuuh… a freak?

Intern1 : A walkie-talkie.

Me: *snigger*

Intern2: … … Huh?

Intern1: You see, a centipede is thought to walk a lot because it’s got many legs while a parrot talks a lot so walkie talkie!

Intern2: … … … … Ha! … .. Lame…

Me: *Oh fuck.God help me.*

And intern2’s jokes are not funny even though they are dirty. Dirty in a sanitary sense, not the R(A) sort which I enjoy. His jokes deal with acne juice and bull testicle meatballs.

It made my funny bone suffer from osteoroposis.

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Filed under Pissed, Revelations on work, The Funny and the weird

Life in Go-N-Saikang: Week 2

These few days I’ve been keeping watch at my watch especially when it’s nearing 5.30pm, a time which everyone looks forward to. Well, not everyone. I don’t get why some of the NUT interns love to stay over. It seems I’m the only one who’s particular about keeping time. I come and leave on the dot. Anyway, I guess the reason why GNS never has a clock in the office is to deter people like me from leaving a second too early. We’ll work till we lose sense of time and before we realise, the boss has earned another unpaid overtime hour. Cheebey.

My 1st week was a dream.
I lost sense of reality when the manager gave me file of management accounts and showed me a large red plastic bag full of files and receipts bound by raffia and said: “Nah. You can start audit.” A bad dream. And this is nothing like SAAT’s compliance audit in Dec where the SAP accounts are prepared nicely for us beforehand with the relevant documents to vouch and trace. Oh No~ At GNS, one has to prepare the unaudited financial statements by transferring the client’s numbers into the GNS report template. And that’s only the beginning of saikang.
The manager speaks like a machine gun and her pronunciation is flawed sometimes so when she gave instructions, I had to ask her twice. Thereafter she’ll say in annoyance:”Din I tell you already?-rat-tat-tat- and why are you so slow?”. I felt my IQ drop and ego severely deflated.

No time to socialise. No time to sleep. No wonder auditors age fast and tend to be single.
I’m counting down… one day down, another 51 days to go.
Shit. I miss school. I promise never to complain again or MSN during lectures. Even if it’s Adv Financial Accting or FIM all over again. Only 3 hours of delightful boredom which is comfortably short. So unlike the 8hrs 45 mins of brain-numbing saikang+pressure to finish auditing 2 companies a week.

*2 interns made a particular impression to me. Both of them reminded me of my male cousins who are accounting grads. My god…there is a resemblance in their mannerisms and even looks! Jeez,does that mean auditors can be made by Nature and not just Nurture alone?

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Filed under Pissed, Revelations on work

Testing the new layout…if it doesnt work

I’ll scream CHEEEBEYYYYY!!!
Then set another account. Bloody hell.

Apparently the threat worked. Haha!

Alright… Alot of things happened which could not be recorded then because of the screwed blog.
Here’s a list:

  1. After poring through Craig Deegan’s Accounting theory textbook, Rong and me finally had our toes closer to the gates of Accounting Heaven. However, the Truth is never feathersoft and pretty. We concluded, with blessings from Prof. Hwang S.C. that – Accounting Standards are merely fads. They are put on the runway for selection and subjected to alot of judgement. Selection is based not just on who gets the most claps but more importantly, it also depends on who claps the loudest.
  2. The AT exam was a bomb. The 1st word sent my well constructed AT map to shambles. “Principle-based standards”. Like what the ^%#@?!!! Prof did not even talked about it!Speaking of principles…apparently there was none when the high stakes exam question was set.
  3. Internship at GNS(Go-N-Saikang) is pure KNS(kanasai). No bloody Big Four would allow interns to be responsible for the whole audit of a company… and a big one at that! Complete with more than a million dollars worth of assets and more than 3 million dollars turnover, plus a very dodgy pile of source documents tied up with raffia, this bugger is a plague. And with a name similar to ‘Ebola'(just flip the ‘b’), I’ve been completely stressed out. And the cheena, all-on-ur-own culture is not helping.
  4. I miss school.

I’ll try to be more positive… Like the cheap food in Chinatown, the proximity to Kinokuniya@ Liang court, faggot accountants will die virgins etc etc.

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